Part 2: Sections 6 - 10
6. SOME SMALL ETHICAL CHOICES
The word 'respect' has already been used hundreds of times, but some minor examples can be used to build such an important ethical habit. No doubt, part of excellent social respect means honoring and obeying our just laws; if you freely break a just law then you’re honor-bound to pay for it, one way or another. So, it’s best and safest to have the law on your side. But there’re also small personal kinds of respect for other people. Often even small gestures of polite respect are important, like saying please and thanks for your help on a daily basis. How else is such an important habit to grow unless it’s practiced here and now? For example, if someone politely interrupts me while I’m doing something, it’s a sign of respect, rather than rudeness. They may say ‘Would you please excuse me, but I was wondering…’? Such polite respect is often a useful ethical habit, as we’ll see here and also in the following section, Who Needs Excellent Sex?
Why is such an ethical skill like respect so important? Well, for thousands of years both women and men were often treated as mere slaves, and given little choice, freedom, or respect. Largely because liberal schools teaching skills based on equal rights have been almost non-existent, disrespectful habits are still very much alive today in much of the world. So, a small ethical question might become, what’s the best way to teach more respectful behavior? Should we simply act disrespectfully to a disrespectful person? And, as with any question, the only way to test it is to experiment with it? However, even that ethical idea doesn’t exist in a vacuum; sometimes it might be dangerous to return disrespect for disrespect. In many places around the world it might even be deadly. So, one’s good judgment is needed for such testing. Is it safe to test the idea of teaching respect to a disrespectful person?
Here’s a small example of what I mean. Suppose you’re reading a book and a stranger disrespectfully asks what I'm reading -- no excuse me, no pardon me for interrupting, nothing showing respect! Just audacious rudeness! So, if it seems safe to show disrespect in return, then it might help teach more respectful actions by saying nothing and merely waving off the person. You might also choose a more positive learning experience, and ask the person why they’re being so disrespectful? Or perhaps you choose a most audacious educational response of all, work to see such respectful habits are taught on a formal daily basis in your local public school, starting of course in the first grade! Such formal character training is still greatly neglected in most of our public schools, and we see the disrespectful results on a daily basis within and between all social classes. It’s as if people feel don’t need to act respectfully to those serving them, and they’re somehow beneath them. Such feelings have promoted class differences and slavery for thousands of years.
Even the small word ‘please’ can be ethically liberating. How many times on TV or on film have you seen someone ask someone else to do something without using the word please, and continue rejecting the request until the first person says ‘please’? In fact, our film and TV media has assumed the role of ethical teacher, and so it shows many examples of such respectfulness, as well as how people may act when polite respectfulness isn’t practiced. Next time you watch the movie Hombre notice what happens to the man who disrespects an Indian who’s peacefully enjoying a drink.
Sad to say, there’s still much disrespect between parents and children too; many parents feel they have a perfect right to force a child do whatever they want. Such parents often don’t realize the actions they make can come back around to them, in one way or another. So, it might be a good idea to simply start practicing a joyful respect to just about anyone you meet; it might make your life that much more joyful and respectful.
Here’s another small example of ethical audaciousness. Many people like to control others’ behavior, and make them behave the way they want them to; they’re sometimes called control freaks. So, it’s another example of ethical audaciousness to test someone, and find out how much of a control freak they are? Will the try to control what someone else wears, eats, or even works? Where do they draw their controlling line, so to speak? Will they even try to make someone else break the law? Such controlling actions are a fact of life even today in many of our cities where economic crime like drug-dealing is a daily event. Such actions are really the enemy of all respectful democratic equal rights, and such rights are what liberals are interested in growing. As we’ll see in the next section, sometimes wanting to act like someone’s sex slave is a normal thing to do, as long as everyone involved agrees. But again, shouldn’t even those actions be as respectful as possible? Otherwise someone may get hurt. What goes around, right?
Suppose, however, a stranger says, “Excuse me for interrupting but I was wondering what you're reading?” Is that respectful? Wouldn’t have been even more respectful if they would have said, “Would you please excuse me, but …” Isn’t it most respectful to give someone else a choice to either excuse you or not? In any case, what are some ethical choices available? It all depends, doesn’t it? If you wanted to talk to the person you might act friendly and start a conservation, just to see how respectful they are, or if not, simply tell the person you’re too busy to talk. Such ethical choices thus depend on one’s personal feelings, and liberal ethical excellence teaches us to respect those feelings. After all, if you don't know the person personally, then even friendliness might produce harmful results. Isn’t that why caring parents quickly teach their young children not to talk to any stranger; it could be dangerous. Such ethical questions and situations may seem small and trivial, and sometimes they are, but doesn’t ethical intelligence teach us it’s better to be safe than sorry? Also, shouldn’t even employers show some respect and politeness to their employees? Why shouldn’t all supervisors be respected and treat workers politely? And if they can’t, then why keep working there? How many highly educated and paid people working in the government have resigned their position simply because they were asked to do something unlawful or something they didn’t agree with?
Here’s another variation on the same situation. What would you do if someone acted politely and respectfully before their request for information? Suppose someone asked, “May I please know what you’re reading? The word ‘may’ is a request for permission, and it shows real respect for someone else. What would you say then? Obviously again, it all depends on whether you want to talk to the person or not! If you did, then you might ask the person a question in return, like, “Why do you want to know?” After all, doesn’t one question deserve another in return? And, if you didn’t want to talk to the person, you could say, “Can’t you see I’m busy?” or even be more audaciously ‘bitchy’ and say “Don’t you know what I'm reading is a personal question and none of your business!?” Such responses are more ways to test a person’s ethical character, to see if they go on their way, respond humorously, or punch you in the nose. Either way you’ll learn something about the person, right?
There’s another variation on this situation. Suppose, for example, a kind and caring person is just doing a little social research and wants to find out who's sad and depressed, and who isn’t. Asking such questions is their way of helping people. Suppose someone says they're just curious and wants to know. What would you do? Would you act friendly or unfriendly? Asking why they want to know seems like a respectful and relevant question, doesn’t it? In any case, however, even such little ethical examples can teach us a lot about someone else, as well as teach us how ethical audaciousness can offer an infinite number of responses, depending of course on how you feel. How audaciously friendly or bitchy do you want to act? (It’s another ethical fill-in-the-blank essay question. ______________________________________.)
Some good ol’ audacious ethical advice came from Hollywood’s classic film Dr. Strangelove. Sterling Hayden (a.k.a. General Jack Ripper) tells his troops to trust no one, unless they’re known to you personally. I think in general it’s good ethical advice, unless of course you can easily get some help if things get out of control. If that happens, and the person simply won’t go away, then it may be best to break out the pepper spray and start firing. Some people just haven’t learned to take a hint, am I right?
7. EXCELLENT SEX: FOREPLAY
In this and the next section I step outside of Dewey’s normal ethical subjects to talk about one of the most important human habits, sex. In fact, I know of no major philosopher who has even mentioned the word, much less talked about what the ethical idea of excellent sex can mean. As a result, I’ve often relied on extra-philosophic material helping define such a habit art, mainly with respectful and creatively joyous actions. As many already know, there are certainly enough examples of sexual actions available for personal viewing, and many are helpful and educational, but many are not as well. Many ignore what respectful and joyous sex can mean, and many people already know when to yell 'faster, faster' and ‘oh my god’ as orgasm approaches. But certainly not everyone knows what respectful, joyful, constructive, reassuring, loving, healthful, intelligent, fun, and even 'sacred' sex can be! For many young folks it’s orgasm and not much else. In fact, for many people sex may be like limerick fever – highly entertaining and having no known cure.
Just by coincidence, however, I happen to have yet another lashingly lame limerick right here to help clear up any doubts and uncertainties, or not.
To learn about sex a young man sought
To watch videos more than he ought.
But after years of study
His brains got muddy,
Learning excellent sex was more than he thought.
Supporting this general lack of important information about excellent kinds of sex are many of our public schools, churches, and homes. For many different reasons many people still don't want people learning about such an excellent habit-art, as if it would somehow make life much less enjoyable than it already is. Some modern conservatives even feel like many early Christians: sex and pleasure of any kind is the devil’s bait leading people to hell itself. Such feelings were present in the thoughts of Paul of Tarsus, an educated Jewish Roman citizen and early Christian. No doubt, unintelligent sex can still produce dangerous results, like the more than 20 sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) like AIDS and syphilis. But aren’t they reasons enough to at least make our public schools formally teach students about them and what intelligent sex means here and now? After all, aren’t our public schools supposed to help grow more intelligent kinds of habit-arts, so young folks will be better prepared for life in the adult world? For us liberal Deweyans these questions are merely natural and normal in today’s world, and should be taught before or soon after young folks become sexually active!
In my own so-called 'baby-boom' generation of 1946-66, for example, many non-heterosexual students often felt like they were completely immune to any kind of sexual danger and so continued assuming their sex habits were in fact excellent. Such assumptions helped cause the AIDS tragedy itself. Many felt they had the only truly sexually liberated habits, when in reality they became life threatening. As a result, ideas and models of safe sex have greatly changed, but we’re still left with the question of excellent sex. What kinds of ideas might it use? Answers to that question will be mentioned more in the next section, while this section focuses mostly on the history of sexual ideas and taboos. Why shouldn’t such knowledge become available to all young folks? It just might help avoid a lot of social stress and frustration later on. With the growth of more liberated women, financially as well as sexually, sexual respect and variety have become even more important than ever before. So again I ask: Why shouldn’t young folks learn how to recognize their own weak, excessive, and unhealthful sexual habits and ideas as soon as possible; the life such knowledge may save may be their own!
I ask such question not to frighten, but to educate. In fact, sexual actions are much too important psychically and biologically to ignore; they’re a very important part of life and have been for millions of years, and so should be seen as purely biological functions. The days of superstitious ideas and silly taboos are rapidly coming to an end, while the need for accurate information remains strong. For example, if you break fair sexual laws against, say, prostitution, or sexually disrespect and ignore a partner’s wishes, you merely endanger your own freedom. How many young folks are respectful enough to first get a partner's consent for a safe sexual encounter, rather than merely assume the other person wants what you want? How many young folks can’t even talk intelligently about sex and kindly sharing their feelings simply because they have no real knowledge or skill about all the different sexual expressions? As a result, many simply get carried away, so to speak, by sex hormones like testosterone. How many young folks are respectful enough to allow their partner to control their own organism, rather than treat a partner as an object to satisfy themselves? Before foreplay even begins, how many young folks are encouraged to ask how dangerous their sexual actions might be? How impulsive is the desire to hop into bed with anyone, as if that’s the best cure for their feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy? How many such people have what psychologists call low self-esteem, and can help produce unhealthful sexual actions? How many will even use sex merely to further their business career? How much of a 'business whore' am I? How many young folks never learn to ask themselves how dangerous their sexual fantasies, desires, and actions might be? How healthful and respectful are they of sex partners?
In another classic movie, The Sting, Robert Redford learns how dangerous it can be to merely pick up a strange woman for casual sex; one partner turns out to be a professional assassin who’s been hired to kill him! So, to protect and educate him against such actions friend Paul Newman sends a ‘guardian’ to help Robert see how dangerous such actions can be. It's yet another example of how sexually educational some films can be. So, again, the obvious question becomes: Wouldn’t we have a much safer and satisfying world if more of our public schools, churches, and homes taught such useful sexual ideas and habits to young folks? The more such knowledge isn’t taught, the more disrespectful and joyless sex will continue, thus cheating more people out of feeling one of life’s most enjoyable experiences – kind and emotionally satisfying sex. For many people only such actions can best build healthy and rewarding sexual instincts and skills, including self-love! With the continuing weakening of highly negative and superstitious religious sexual ideas, self-love has become a much more useful habit than ever before; I, for one, know from experience.
Possibly no other habit-art demonstrates Dewey’s model of organic nature more than sex. Like nature itself, sex can be both supportive AND dangerous; it all depends on how intelligently or routinely it's exercised. As many have already learned, kind and respectful sex can produce beautiful caring and helpful feelings for people, while disrespectful sex can produce nightmarish results. So, the question becomes: How can such dangerous results be reduced and satisfactions increased? Once again, intelligent experimental actions looking first at possible results are the key to intelligent sexual foreplay. Who is young and naive enough to believe excellent sex is just knowing when to start yelling 'faster, faster'? Many young folks have already learned, for example, to ask a partner where they want them to cum, or how they can make their orgasm the most rewarding? With the growth of democratic equal rights and freedoms, such questions have become a sign of intelligent sex.
Sex History as Foreplay
In the world of our native ancestors sex often became surrounded with a great many spirit-taboos and myths, all meant to control peoples’ actions and thoughts. The great ethnologist Bronislav Malinowski, for example, reported Trobriand Islanders typically believed only spirits caused pregnancy; men had nothing to do with it except to open the passageway for such spirits to enter, and who knows, perhaps even yell 'oh my god' once in a while. A Trobriand sexual myth said spirits of the dead lived in the ocean, and so girls were told to stay out of it; they might get pregnant. If, however, a woman wanted to get pregnant, then some ocean water was brought into her hut so a spirit could enter her while she slept. Many sex-myths were also common to Australian Aborigines as well as most native cultures on earth. Even a few thousand years ago most people thought spirits could impregnate any woman, even a young Jewess named Miriam. Incidentally, as we’ll see more fully in Book 2’s Native Models of Excellent, the idea of spirits was used in the native world much like we use atomic and chemical ideas today to explain natural events; the big difference is our ideas can be tested and verified, whereas supernatural spirit-ideas are beyond such controlled experimentation.
In fact, until very recently spirit-caused pregnancies remained a common superstition around the world, helping forestall the growth of reliable scientific sex information. In ancient times, to help explain why some people had extra-ordinary skills -- mana power -- gods were said to cause some pregnancies. For example, many Greeks believed the half-human half-divine god Dionysus' father was Zeus himself, the king of the Greek gods! Some 500 years later such ideas made it possible for people to believe Jesus too had a spirit-father. Also, some believed Pythagoras too was Apollo's son, or even Apollo himself! Some even believed Plato's real father was Apollo too. Lisa Manniche also reports, in ancient Egypt one's sexual dreams were often seen as omens for future events. For example, if a man dreamed of a woman's genitals -- her vulva -- it was an omen for future miseries, while dreaming of intercourse with one's mother was a good omen -- it meant friends will stay friendly. And of course women too had sexual omen-dreams; dreaming of embracing their husband meant grief was on its way. Also, dreaming of sex with different animals had different meanings; sex with a wolf meant something beautiful will be seen. Well, horoscopes had to start evolving somewhere, didn't they? And of course magical sexual potions have remained popular at least since ancient times, finally producing chemical aids prolonging sex for hours. To arouse your wife, for example, one ancient remedy was to merely mix acacia seeds with honey, apply it to your genitals, then sleep together, if you dare. And for those more equestrian types merely putting horse saliva on one's genitals was said to be so potent it would force any woman to actually enjoy sex! Giddy-up cowgirl!
With practice such spirit-taboos of course became propulsive habit-arts, and thus continued on into ancient and medieval times. In Greece and India, for example, men sometimes told uneducated women the gods were aroused by sexually aggressive women, so naturally some became religious prostitutes; women were made to feel they were really honoring the local god at whose temple they worked. How many men are now longing for the ‘good ‘ol days’? Worship services certainly have changed, haven't they? In fact in general, throughout the world, sexual habits were much less condemned than a conservative Judeo-Christian traditions were eventually to make them; both the Greek and Roman worlds had their ‘red light’ districts, catering to people who nature had deemed sexually potent. What’s more, in those cultures many forms of male and female homosexuality have been encouraged and sometimes even celebrated, like in some Native American tribes and in Greece as well.
For those who know what it feels like to be relaxed while faced with a sexual decision, it's easy to ask: What's the most excellent sexual choice here and now? Should I take a chance everything's ok, or put it off until I can feel safer? No doubt, some impulses can be too powerful; for many, impulsive sex is the most exciting of all. But unless it’s healthful, then it too becomes dangerous sex. As we’ll see in Book 3's Ancient Models of Excellence, sex and religious ritual were linked even in ancient Greece. There may have been no Wall Street back then, but there sure was a lot of Sexual Streets, so to speak, all offering more temporary ‘mergers and acquisitions’ in the quest to relieve one’s bodily tensions. Again, I cite the example of Dionysus. As we’ve seen, back then people commonly believed gods and people could mate and produce children. Even today Mormons believe god is a material being living on a faraway planet. Dionysus too was pictured as a human god who's power caused all of nature’s fertility and growth, like plants and even animals; wine became used to promote sexual frenzy and absorb some of the god’s mana-powers, much like Christians believe eating blessed bread and wine mystically increases god’s grace. Followers of Dionysus believed they could even become immortal if they drank his sacred wine and indulged in sexual orgies. Many felt drinking his sex-stimulating wine was that powerful. After all, before people learned to purify drinking water with chemicals and boiling it, wine was the preferred drink in the ancient world; it caused less disease than bacteria infested water. Especially at the beginning of the growing season Dionysians conducted orgies aimed at awakening the god and stimulating another good grape crop.
Throughout ancient times many different religious sects have used sexual taboos to control people’s actions. The conservative Judeo-Christian tradition has perhaps been the most anti-sexual tradition of all major religions with polygamous Islam’s condemning same-sex relations close behind; it’s as if such actions are somehow against god’s eternal laws and hence evil for all time. Roman Christians went so far as to ban physical marriage for its priests and nuns, hoping such actions would please god and increase god’s grace. Also labeled as a mortal sin was self-love; it could cause a person’s eternal damnation in hell if it wasn't stopped -- as if people had no right to pleasure their own bodies! With such negative sexual ideas and values conservative religion reached another high point. Presumably many devils in hell just couldn’t keep their hands off themselves. Was that the real reason they’re often pictured as smiling? Thankfully such childishly negative taboos are rapidly coming to an end, no pun intended. Self-love is an intelligent and safe way to find out exactly where those great-feeling G-spots are. Wow! That certainly felt good! How can we kindly share those feelings with a partner unless we know what they are? Hinduism, on the other hand, is perhaps the most sexually liberated of all major religions. Some Hindus even took the time to write sexual handbooks to increase one’s enjoyment and pleasure, but eventually they too became counterproductive. Today India is grossly overpopulated, making it more difficult to keep improving life for everyone. Since when does population growth have no limit? At any rate, more people have gotten to know and satisfy themselves sexually, and thus take control of their own sexual feelings. Needless to say, it also makes people less vulnerable to all those sexually transmitted diseases out there, not to mention unwanted pregnancy in a world over-populated already!
In fact for thousands of years mankind has practiced a great variety of sexual habits, ranging from fiendish sex to celibacy. As we’ll see in Book 2’s Native Models of Excellence, people often felt some kind of spirit controlled their sexual desires and reproductive events. Even early in his career Sigmund Freud pictured sexual energy as one of the most powerful psychic forces. He too began helping many people see sex as just another useful bodily function; it’s the most enjoyable natural tranquilizer, followed closely by overeating. Today, however, many have learned even one’s sexual desires and abilities depend on one's diet more than anything else. For example, some foods, like alcohol and refined sugar, and vitamin E greatly increase one’s sexual hormones – testosterone -- while foods with low fat and high plant fiber lower them. I wonder … is that what made some ancient Egyptian prostitutes such great wine makers? Probably even when the Great Pyramid was only a Great Sand Dune some intelligent Egyptian women noticed wine was great for their love life. Say, is that where the saying 'Let’s have a duner,’ comes from? Pardon me while I engage in a rather modern idea, namely creating some sexual humor! If there’s any human habit that needs more humor, it’s sex, followed closely by war. The easier it become to laugh at something, the less serious it becomes.
And speaking of sexual humor, sometimes women complain about men’s quick sexual response; said one famous actress, the one thing men are good for, they’re not good at! Love those prepositions, aye?? As you may’ve guessed, however, that was before the recent invention of all the chemical aids keeping men sexually aroused for hours. No doubt, with the creation of such performance-enhancing drugs such complaints have been weakened, but we’re all creatures of nature, so blame it for such quick responses. In a world filled always brimming with dangerous events and enemies ready to pounce at any minute, quick sexual responses have been useful for many millions of years! It was nature’s way of making life both pleasurable and productive. After all, the less time an animal needs to boink a mate, the safer it is for everyone. It was either that or increase the chances of having one’s butt clamped onto by yet another hungry lion or leopard looking for another mid-morning snack-kabob! In short, those creatures who could keep pleasurable sex to an absolute minimum reproduced more often than others. Today such threats have greatly diminished, and so knowing how to enjoy sex longer has become another challenge. We’ve put lions and cheetahs into zoos and now have much more time to make sex more fun, enjoyable, and intelligent more often. Some people, in fact, have become what may be called sexletes – sexual athletes. They’ve learned how to use their pole vaults as much and as often as they can. As a result, more people have taken the time to make sex a more creative and happy habit-art with the help of many new sex toys. They’re helping make sex more of a satisfying art form than ever before.
Because until only yesterday, so to speak, mankind has lived largely in ignorance about most everything, sex included. So, many people are still trying to replace their old superstitious taboos with healthier and more enjoyable habits. Some people even today are told ancestral spirits would become angry if they had sex with someone from a forbidden totem tribe, race, or caste. The old superstitious idea of tribal purity has been preached for thousands of years, right up to Germany’s 3rd Reich, as if intelligent and loving actions between consenting people will cause the universe to collapse.
In the native world such sexual-spirit ideas also helped explain why birth defects happen; more often than not the mother was blamed for eating some tabooed food, or committing some tabooed act while she was pregnant. In some native tribes even a baby's character could be formed while in the womb by eating certain foods. Even within the same caste there were certain sexual rituals to follow. Indian castes, for example, were basically primitive totem tribes, so marrying outside one’s caste was forbidden; it would produce bad Karma. Greek men too were liable to prosecution if they had sex with the daughter or wife of another citizen, whether they consented or not, and of course nudity was taboo to orthodox religious Jews and Muslims; for Muslims even making human images was forbidden. No doubt, all such sexual taboos were created by social and religious leaders to increase their own control and power over as many people as possible.
In ancient times the control over women’s sexual actions was perhaps the king of sexual power, ranging from the home to the throne. Even in ancient Greece women were seen mostly as objects to be controlled, from birth to death. Thus, marrying women off when they were psychically still children was another way their sexual actions were controlled by men. Such habits live on in many religions even today. In ancient Greece and even in the modern world sexual segregation is still common practice. A sexually liberated woman who controls her own body is a very recent liberal idea and habit-art. For many conservative Greeks like Plato, sex was allowed only to produce children and little else; for that reason he also condemned homosexuality, even though it was a common practice at the time. Young men were often taught their character habits by older lovers, as is often the case today with both young women and men. In fact, in ancient Greece it was common to see aroused naked male statues called Hermes; they were said to ward off evil spirits. No doubt, the statue maker who thought of that idea made a good living. Socrates and Aristotle were about the only two Greek philosophers who married, and Socrates said he just wanted to teach himself to live with his difficult wife Xanthippe. They had 3 sons so evidently they got together at least 3 times.
Of course Western civilization's religious foundation, ancient Israel, was loaded with fearful superstitious sexual taboos, especially surrounding menstruating women. In fact, women have been blamed for most every disagreeable kind of action. After all, didn't sacred (male) Hebrew writings describe how a woman named Eve corrupted the entire human race a few thousand years earlier? That must have made Jewish women feel great about themselves, right? As if painful monthly cramps, bloating, mood swings, and sexual arousal weren’t enough of a drag, Jewish women were also loaded down with monthly sexual purification rituals and taboos. And even when they weren't menstruating, I was told for purity’s sake during intercourse a sheet with a hole in it typically separated orthodox men from their wives. In short, both touching and seeing the opposite sex was kept to an absolute minimum. Is it any wonder it’s taken many thousands of years to even gain some sexual liberation and freedom from such nonsense for even a few million women? We’ll see a brief sketch of the new liberal scientific model of nature a little later in Part 2.
True to form, philosophers typically reflected such sexual taboos often by ignoring the subject altogether. As a result, conservatives especially have done little to help liberate mankind from such taboos, or to even talk much about intelligent sex; no doubt, such weaknesses reflected the fact many philosophers just didn't practice much sex. Immanuel Kant, for example, is a classic example of how sexually detached he was. He supposedly had 2 chances to marry, but both times took so long making up his mind the women found other partners! And even though Socrates did marry, he and Plato both experimented with spiritualizing love and sex, rather than using it to bond individuals together in this world and help make life more enjoyable for both. They focused on using feelings of love to grasp and mentally bond with the eternal and unchanging forms of Love they assumed existed. As we’ve already seen, Socrates focused on mentally grasping such unchanging Ideas; for him it was the highest kind of knowledge. And for Plato love for physical objects was merely used as a stepping stone to eventually grasp the eternal and unchanging Spirit-Idea of Love or Beauty itself! Probably no example of habit’s power to shape a person’s psyche is more powerful than that one. Merely behaving as if such objects existed was enough to justify their assumptions. From there it was merely a small step for Plato to conclude all physical pleasure was the greatest distraction of all; it kept people tied to our lower and much less than real material world; Spirit-Ideas were the best objects to love, even though such ideas produced many absurd results.
Today, people have simply become more liberated in Western countries where conservative religious ideas have become more history than philosophic truth. Such liberation teaches people we can make our own sexual habit-arts as excellent, safe, and even as dangerous as we choose; dangerous enemies deserve dangerous sex, don't they? Such ideas have probably been around since ancient times. As we saw earlier, one of Socrates' students was a very rich, handsome, impulsive, charismatic young man named Alcibiades, but Socrates saw how he often lacked intelligent judgment, especially with his sexual choices; many women found him irresistible. Eventually his disrespectful sexual habits proved fatal. They attracted so many enemies no one knows who really killed him, but it happened, perhaps after sleeping with yet another virgin or married woman. Maybe it was even a group effort, like Agatha Christy described in her Murder on the Orient Express! Who knows?
Thankfully many millions of people continue liberating themselves from old conservative sexual taboos. Today, it’s much more common to play during sexual actions, rather than always treat them seriously. For example, why not try to imagine what you'd sound like if you tried to learn about orgasm's eternal Essence and Form? Being a part of nature it must have one, right? What was that orgasm like my dear? Can you define it for me, I mean absolutely, not relatively? How much did it participate with nature’s eternal Orgasm-Idea? Such humorous questions help liberate one’s thinking from all such superstitious thinking, especially the idea sex is somehow evil and offensive to god.
For us Deweyan liberals, everyone’s unique, so everyone’s orgasm is different. Some people may have their own best orgasm in different places and at different times, while for others every time and any place is best! Who ever heard of a bad orgasm, whether it was with regular whipped cream or non-fat? Just like any scientific idea, sexual ideas and skills too can keep growing all through life. Plato makes Socrates say philosophy for him is a preparing for death; we Deweyans, however, see philosophic questions helping make even sex -- especially sex -- more creatively adventurous and sacred than ever. For many people today sexual orgasm has become the best and most reliable god to feel, and getting one a sign of love and kindness. In short, the more creative and joyous sex becomes, the more it keeps deepening all our ideas and feelings about nature and human nature! Just like scientific experiments, each sexual experience is different too, whether it's with the same or a different partner. In fact, intelligently testing our strongest sexual fantasy-ideas might even help bring their results to a MORAL level of thinking, where we can intelligently keep improving and energizing them to even higher plateaus of naturalistic excellence with intelligent experimentation. If orgasm helps relax the entire body-mind -- thank goodness! -- then why shouldn’t an intelligent sexual habit-art aim to keep the art growing all through life? Sometimes you feel like sex, and sometimes you feel like just cuddling. Both can be expressions of a loving habit-art, and shouldn’t they be?
Impulsive, selfish, disrespectful sex was dangerous too even in the Middle Ages. Philosophy's history preserves another educational example from the early 1100s in France. Peter Abelard (1060-1130) was a very charismatic, bright, bold, talented, confident young philosophic scholar with a great future ahead of him; he had a natural talent for seeing how old ideas can be creatively challenged. He too was a scholar Christian conservatives loved to hate. And yet his immature and disrespectful sexual impulses produced destructive personal results. He fell in love with a chaste young woman named Heloise and she responded, but instead of going through the normal family channels and getting properly married, they became lovers; eventually she even had a child out of wedlock. Needless to say her guardian uncle wanted revenge for corrupting her; he was a very conservative Church official at Notre Dame and if the act went unpunished, his own career would suffer. Even after Peter agreed to marry Heloise the uncle probably had him attacked and castrated!
Stories like that help show, I think, how dangerous some sexual impulses can be in some situations. After all, we’re all organic and interconnected parts OF nature, not just isolated 'atomic' people passing through nature. Philosophy’s materialistic model of life encouraged people to feel they were merely living IN nature, rather than being an important part of it. Even as late as the 1700s David Hume, too, pictured people as almost completely psychically isolated and disconnected from everything; for him all we really know are our own ideas and sensations. That rather negative psychological model, called atomistic psychology, was something Dewey felt needed improving; his Human Nature and Conduct was his answer to Hume.
In fact, both Darwin and Dewey helped re-construct and improve psychological atomism. We’re all behaviorally connected children OF nature, and our actions affect others every day of our lives, especially our sexual actions. And so, for sexual excellence, respect not only for nature and its diseases are important, but also for others as well! Abelard could have been more respectful to Heloise’s family. If we're not respectful, not only of people but of nature's dangers, life can quickly become a hell on earth! So, even though it happened centuries ago, such events can still help educate others to act more intelligently before they jump into bed with another chimp they know almost nothing about. If so, then this entire book will have been worth the effort. In short, Abelard's story isn't just medieval history, nor is what happened to Russia’s Mad Monk Rasputin in the early 1900s just Russian history. Our sexual choices produce results, just like all our ethical choices.
What other sexual facts might be educationally useful before foreplay begins? As we’ve seen many times before, for Dewey intelligent liberal habit-arts are the key to excellence. Taking the time to think a little about the probable results of one’s actions, and then choose which action might produce the best results for everyone involved is what he means by ethical intelligence. What’s more, as that intelligent skill continues growing, so does one’s awareness of excellent sex. No doubt, the memoirs of some college professors today would make for good reading in any X-rated book store. Sadly, however, philosophy’s history isn’t much help building such habits. In general, famous philosophers often preferred fondling their books and ideas rather than other people. For example, young Nietzsche's idol Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) was said to be quite a ladies man but he had a terrible relationship with his mother, so his basic sexual instincts about women’s inferiority are understandable. No doubt, such feelings also shaped his great philosophic pessimism; it's tough to feel very positive and joyful about life when the only objects of sexual desires are emotionally draining. As a rule woman even in the 1800s were typically taught to act passive rather than experimentally adventurous. With the growth of same-sex relationships, however, that reality has greatly changed for many men and women.
Dewey himself was a bit more stable with his sexual habits. His first marriage to Alice Chipman produced six children, 2 of whom died in childhood; those were probably the most tragic events in Dewey’s life. Although he was probably faithful to her until her death in the 1920s, one gets the feeling the sex was more missionary traditional than anything else. His own mother Lucinda was sternly religious, and so the relationship with her was, at best, emotionally distant if not stern. Then in 1946, at 87, he married Roberta Grant Lowitz; she was 42 and had young children of her own. No doubt, there was more respect than sex in that relationship. He loved to play games with children.
Much more sexually liberated was Dewey’s great philosophic contemporary, Bertrand Russell; he was another so-called sexual free spirit. He had the bands on with 5 different women and still found time to talk publicly to New York university students about free love. Needless to say, the Catholic establishment was as offended by such behavior as was Heloise’s uncle, and even after Dewey defended Bertie’s right of free speech the university let him go. Those were the idyllic days of our modern sexual revolution, before the AIDS epidemic began unfolding in the early 1980s. Imagine that, married 5 times and still celebrating free love; well at least he kept the divorce lawyers busy. No doubt, Bertie had what Freud would call a healthy libido – his word for sexual energy.
Bertie also advocated another controversial sexual idea at the time – birth control. Clearly, he felt birth control and sexual freedom would help make war itself more difficult; who wants to see a loving, kind, and joyful sexual partner or child be killed? It certainly wasn’t all in vane either; during the Vietnam War the phrase ‘make love not war’ became a liberal mantra, so to speak, opposed by conservative ones like ‘send the pinko hippies back to Russia.’ With such ideas Bertie helped mix the colors for new models of sexual excellence growing at the time. Robert Posner's Sex and Reason is a good pragmatic scholarly example of such writing.
Sadly, such a free love model of excellent sex wasn’t to last. Just as the 1980s began and sexually diverse habits were stronger than ever, AIDS began appearing, first within gay communities around the US, and eventually becoming a worldwide epidemic spread also by intravenous drug users. It quickly became the deadliest sexually transmitted disease, and once again called for re-defining excellent sex, one focused on health most of all. For those people who need them, like multiple partners and group kinds of sex, health has become more important than ever. Without being tested first, who can know what dangerous viruses and bacteria are lurking in anyone else's body? Not since syphilis began growing as Europeans began interacting with Native Americans in the 1500s, had casual sex become so dangerous. Even in the 1800s the German poet-philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche probably died from a syphilitic infection.
Another important reason to build habits of sexual tolerance is the increasing integration of the sexes in daily life. For thousands of years the sexes were usually separated in their daily lives. As we saw earlier, many different taboos were created to enforce such a separation, including female inferiority. Since the 1800s, however, women have been demanding more and more freedom to control their own bodies. First, they were allowed to get university educations, join the workforce, and thus gain the economic means to lead independent lives. World Wars 1 and 2, the women’s liberation movement, the right to vote, and practical kinds of birth control only accelerated that trend towards sexual equality. Before that women were usually confined to traditional roles in the home, and stayed largely sexually segregated from, and dependent on, men. Throughout the ancient and medieval Western world men ran much of the business world and women were confined to babies and housework. Even in Catholic religious orders celibacy was practiced and so nuns and priests were normally separated from one another. As a result, however, same-sex bonding and relationships were encouraged, like they were in ancient Greece and Rome and even today. Within some convents such relationships are called special friends. No doubt, such sexual segregation has also been a prime cause of the many pedophilic relationships between priests and young boys recently becoming exposed by some young victims.
Sexual segregation has also produced another interesting social result. It seems the more men and women are segregated from each other, the more likely men may feel violence and warfare are acceptable ways of settling disputes, and gaining wealth and power for themselves and their nations. In the ancient world, for example, Greek sexual segregation helped males feel force was an intelligent response to many different situations, and so war was more or less a common and constant fact of life. Sexual segregation also decreased the learning of passive and effeminate habits by men; Greeks typically thought women were simply inferior people. Pericles's love for his common-law wife Aspasia caused an uproar when they even kissed each other good-bye in the morning; many men felt women were just not suitable companions for men, and no doubt such feelings are still alive in many men today.
No doubt, such sexual segregation is as old as our first human ancestors, H. habilis, over 2 million years ago. Probably even millions of years ago those ancestors already had different roles for the sexes -- males as tool-makers and hunters, and women as food gatherers and baby-makers; ancient and medieval cultures simply continued those kinds of sexual segregation. Only as the Industrial Revolution in the 1800s grew in importance have those habits been changing; women were used to help keep business paperwork in order. And of course during wartime women were needed for factory work, my own mother included, and thus began earning their own money, and with it the chance for more education. During much of the 1800s women like Susan Anthony and Elizabeth Stanton kept educating women about new possibilities industrial life was now making possible, especially like voting possibilities.
As a result, democratic ideals about each person having inalienable natural rights and freedoms were turned into real democratic freedoms, thus challenging old conservative ideas about sexual segregation. New habits of mutual respect and tolerance have become much more a part of sexual excellence. Obviously the growth of such new sexual habits has been slow, largely because in general our public schools still don't formally teach excellent character habits on a formal on-going basis, much less new kinds of sexual respect. The result can be seen in some recent US state elections where same-sex marriage freedoms were voted down. It’s a sign many people are still challenged to help keep educating such disrespectful and unkind people about new liberal kinds of sexual freedom. Not only many conservatives, but many people still feel any kind of sexual expression other than their own is simply unacceptable, being either against god’s will or the devil’s work! And if those facts aren’t enough to start learning more enjoyable and fun habits of sexual foreplay, like finding our which kind of whipped cream your partner prefers best, then you’re more conservative than I thought!
8. EXCELLENT SEX: GOING DEEPER
How Playfully Intelligent Are Your Sexual Habits?
As a rule, Deweyan liberals aren’t taught to condemn those with different sexual habits. On the contrary, we teach ourselves to keep improving any harmful, disrespectful, and joyless habits. Such ideas make it easier to tolerate all the different forms of peaceful and lawful sexual expressions now available to people, as well as keep making sex a joyful fulfilling and sacred event. Such intelligent sexual habits are the essence of any kind of love. What’s it my business who marries whom, or who sleeps with whom, as long as they stay healthy and make life more joyful? Thus, it’s easy for us liberals to say go, be happy, and enjoy the few years of life anyone has with whatever sexual habits makes you happy.
In truth, like any other liberal habit-art, sexual excellence too nurtures and encourages creative, healthful, playful, helpful, and respectful actions. Why shouldn’t sex become just as joyfully sacred as any other habit-art? For example, how many young men and women are respectful enough to encourage their partner to direct them for producing maximum sexual pleasure, and allow them to keep control of their own orgasm? How many men have ever asked their partner where they want them to climax, or how they can best help them climax? How many know many people have different sexual fantasies, and can help fulfill them as long as they agree on what’s being asked of each other? Did you know some people get more sexually excited by being spanked for being a bad little girl or boy? How many young men just want to get to intercourse as quickly as possible and satisfy themselves, rather than make it satisfying for their partner for as long as it’s comfortable? How many young men, myself included, have acted just like Dustin Hoffman in the film The Graduate, and allowed ourselves to be used just for sex, and then ignored? How many people today still don't realize how many men and women have been trained since childhood to respond only to other men and other women? Using a computer analogy, they’re been programed to respond in such ways. There’s nothing evil or sinful about it; it’s just the way they were trained. We Deweyan liberals simply feel such knowledge helps make people more sexually tolerant, and thus helps prevent some dangerous events and frustrations from happening.
How many people realize those with different sexual habits also need and want to find someone they can share some tender feelings with, have a relationship with, and make sex a more relaxing, enjoyable, and more sacred fulfilling experience. In short, sex can become more than just a role-playing routine. It can become something more tender, loving, and reassuring, as well as playful. For many young folks it takes a little intelligent work and experimentation to first learn what psychological needs and wants we have, and then, perhaps, find someone else with the same experimental needs and wants. What’s more, such needs and wants may change over time, thus discovering some even deeper needs and wants. In short, going deeper sexually doesn’t only have a physical side to it; the human psyche too has depth to it. And making the situation even more interesting is actually finding someone with similar sexual needs and wants. So, for building that kind of sexual habit-arts it might be best to first talk about one’s sexual needs and wants with someone else, and see if there’s some common ground for a relationship.
In fact, there’s a whole range of sexual energy and expression; after all, no 2 people are exactly alike. Such energies range from hot and torrid to moderate, cold, and even frigid; some people just don’t have orgasms. In short, just like dancing or talking excellence, excellent sex too can most easily grow from knowing what our own sexual needs and wants are, or as Socrates would say, knowing our self. That’s what I mean by going deeper. For example, some people need one partner, others more than one, and others may be loners; such feelings often depend on how the adults around us acted as we were growing up. Without such self-knowledge, looking for the kind of sexual activity we want becomes more difficult. Some men feel all women are just there to satisfy them, while some women feel they only need to collect desirable sperm to help improve their own tribe. Thus, going deeper and knowing what one’s sexual needs are before getting undressed might save everyone a lot of grief, sadness, and anger down the road. Do you need to just ‘touch and go,’ without any emotional feelings, have just another friend with sexual benefits, or build a lovingly long relationship?
Such sexual knowledge can help people practice more intelligent and respectful sex; talking about such facts before anything happens might help avoid hurtful and frustrating feelings afterwards. With just a little intelligent talk about each other's feelings and habits, needs and wants, sex can become a very useful and healthful habit-art. With the right people, some kind and helpful planning for safety, and some creative fun, sex can not only teach us more about ourselves and others, but also help better satisfy our deeper emotional needs. After all, emotional feelings start growing from day 1, so to speak, long before people learn to talk and reason. For many people feeling loved and respected are very important feelings, and the more they’re satisfied, the better one feels.
Gaining More Sexual Control
Whether you're heterosexual, bi-sexual, homosexual, or transsexual, perhaps the best way to go deeper into your sexual needs and wants is with self-love. After all, one’s sexual organs are always available to some pleasure. For example, what arouses you sexually: sexy pictures, films, or reading sexy stories? Also, many people just take longer to become sexually aroused; life has just made them different that way. In any case, however, the more you know about your own sexual responses, fantasies, and needs, the easier it becomes to fulfill them, and make self-love satisfying any time. In fact, it’s a comment on philosophy in general who revere philosophers like Socrates who said ‘know yourself,’ not love yourself; many philosophers are just not very sexual. Others, however, have deeper emotional needs, and so welcome using pills to keep going and going and going, despite their dangerous side effects. So, if you're looking for a deeper sexual relationship than just another one-night stand, then admitting that to someone else might help save yourself and your partner some grief and anxiety. Many women want to share their organism only with their women friends or one partner, so why not first go a little deeper into one’s feelings first. It’s a sign of respect and caring, and can help make sex a more rewarding experience.
Some people just need to touch and go, while others want more out of sex. Some people just want to use money and sex as a control tool; they want to see how many women they can find who’ll take as much from a partner as possible, and even endanger their own lives. They like to test people’s deep emotional needs, to see how respectful, independent, and self-reliant they are. We’ll see more about such people in the following section – Tribal Games of Freedom. In any case, however, the more a partner is willing to happily talk about such ideas, the easier it becomes to avoid dangers and promote more healthful kinds of sex. In fact, people willing to talk about such ideas before sex is a good way to judge whether someone is looking for a meaningful relationship, or just wants another sexual client to observe. What is your fantasy of a perfect sexual experience? To answer such questions it’s necessary to go a little deeper into one’s emotional depths. It may not be always easy, but it can help make life more satisfying and enjoyable. Though sometimes difficult, it may be necessary to just walk away from someone with different sexual goals, even though they’re everything else you want in a mate.
People who’ve learned with self-love what feels best have an advantage when it comes to talking honestly about sex. Making the situation more difficult, however, is this fact: Self-love has often been discouraged and tabooed for centuries! Thankfully, today modern psychology is helping liberate that useful habit-art too; who shouldn’t have a right to control their own body? Sometimes when you're alone and feeling sexy it's easiest to love yourself! After all, if you're lucky enough to find a compatible partner, how can you intelligently direct them if you don't know what feels best yourself? Such knowledge also helps make people more aware of different sexual actions and responses. In fact, many today have been programed since childhood to merely want special kinds of friends, and want to know only about good sexual mechanics. For them sex with someone else is just an occasional event, like golfing, only much better. Such friend-oriented people helps keep them from bonding emotionally with just one person; such cum-and-go types often treat sex like just another exercise to relieve tensions and relax.
So, if an emotional relationship or marriage is needed more than just a friendship, then why waste time trying to make somebody act the way they don't need or want to act? No doubt, sometimes it's a difficult to walk away from someone you're attracted to, but what do you want most, to remain your own master, or to stay emotionally involved with just another pretty face? These days, making such sexual choices is an important part of modern ethics. However, often complicating such choices is another psychological feeling: many people just don’t like to be alone. They don’t like living alone in an apartment or home, and making matter worse, they don’t have any hobbies or goals they want to keep working for. So, again, before life gets too out of control, it might be best to engage in a little friendly, respectful, and intelligent self-analysis FIRST; it can help save everyone wasted time, energy, and hurt feelings. Who knows? It may even help avoid the embarrassment of getting ready for some great sex, only to be left chained naked to a hotel room bed without your clothes! Don't you hate when that happens? So why not act more respectful and intelligent first? As we’ll see a little later, it could save a lot of embarrassment. Why treat someone else as merely a sex object without first telling them that’s the way you feel? How much sexual control are you willing to give to someone who merely seems sexy and willing? Even professional sex workers are better educated. Such impulsive actions could be dangerous, as we saw with Abelard and Heloise. After all, why endanger your own health and freedom by breaking the law and paying someone for sex, even though such laws may be medieval and silly? How much do you need dangerous sex? Isn’t it best to first treat someone like a real person, rather than merely a sex object?
Often complicating such ethical decisions and choices are the tons of sexual fantasy-ideas educating people about options for one of life's most creative, enjoyable, satisfying, and pleasurable arts -- sex! Chief among their opponents are many religions, offering advice like don't love yourself, it'll make hair grow on your hands, your soul will burn in hell, and god doesn’t like it! If god doesn’t like it, then why would it have created humans to feel so good about it? Other negative ideas are don't eat watermelon seeds or you'll get pregnant; sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin; and anal sex is evil and should be illegal. Then, on the other side are those who assumed all forms of sex are completely safe and enjoyable. In fact, all such ideas merely represent different tribal feelings, from conservative to liberal. Small wonder, when Freud's ideas about childhood sexuality were redd in the early 1900s, they caused a tremendous outcry to most people. Conservative Victorian moral ideals at the time said respectable people simply don’t talk about such things, as if children didn't like to sexually role-play with their parents. How many times have young boys crawled into bed with their mothers, or girls with their fathers? In any other era Freud might have been killed instantly for even talking about such ideas, but child pornographers certainly were thankful for the free publicity.
Still, such honest talk did much to help break down old sexual superstitions, taboos, and double standards, like it was ok for men to have premarital sex, but not women. That was some of the good news; the bad news -- it was just a beginning, and the more our public schools, homes, and churches continued ignoring healthful sexual knowledge, the longer sexual intolerance and ignorance stayed active. Only some hundred years later has tolerance for same-sex relationships finally reached a wider social plateau, thanks in large part to increased information about different sexual habits. Adult videos about sexual options have become commonplace in many homes and even hotels. In short, our more secular and liberal democratic societies have begun de-mythologizing sex and many of the double standards still practiced, like women should be prevented from learning anything about sex until they’re married; only women should practice birth control; and only women should raise children. For us Deweyan liberals it’s obvious such tolerance for sexual diversity has become easier as conservative religious taboos have weakened. After all, nature is a place where variety is natural and normal. As always, what make sexual events excellent are the intelligent, respectful, and healthful actions of people! Going deeper into one’s emotional psyche makes it easier to feel what excellent sex means to you, and then carefully experiment to verify such feelings. As with any other habit art, sexual feelings too keep growing all through life, and sometimes change drastically.
The X-Rated Controversy
Again, another direct cause of sexual liberation has, no doubt, been the adult film industry. Such explicit sexual films have helped people learn more about sexual alternatives, options, and their own feelings. They’ve no doubt helped many people go deeper into their own feelings about sexual excellence. In that way X-rated videos can be helpful tools for both men and women; they certainly helped me broaden my limited sexual knowledge. For example, I’m interested in learning more about female sexuality, so I've learned a lot from lesbian videos; their joy, respect, and happiness-levels have shown me how enjoyable and sacred sex can be; it’s something I never learned in school, at home, or from sex partners. From such videos I've learned how sex can sometimes also be used therapeutically, to help others feel happier, more confident, and less depressed. In that way sex become yet another useful psychological tool.
Just like anyone else, lesbians too sometimes feel sad and depressed. Believe it or not folks, millions of people around the world continue seeing lesbians and gay men as somehow less than human, and without the same feelings as everyone else. So some people have taught themselves to use sex caringly and lovingly, to help improve such depressive feelings; sometimes intelligent sex is good psychic medicine. It can be a great way to build a person's low self-esteem, so they can start working to make themselves what they want to be. Are seeing and learning about such things really obscene and pornographic? Should they be forbidden from being seen? For centuries conservative religious and political leaders said they shouldn’t be seen, as if they really knew what health can mean for some people. Many people simply felt good about having such control and power over people. However, when sex is safe, respectful, enjoyable, fun, and helps others feel better and more loved, what exactly is obscene, evil, or pornographic about that? No doubt, some adult films are directly to those who might have very disturbing and downright creepy sexual fantasies, but then again, isn’t it best to identify such people as quickly as possible, so they can get the help they need for expressing their fantasies in healthful ways, and not become yet another Jack the Ripper or Boston Strangler? In any case, however, sexual excellence for us Deweyan liberals is another important part of ethical excellence; they both aim at building intelligent habit-arts.
X-rated films merely portray different kinds of sexual actions, and they in turn let some people know their own fantasies can be fulfilled too. Many people fantasize about sexual violence, group sex, or multiple partners, or just watching others perform sex acts. Until such fantasies are acted on they’re just psychic feelings, like wanting to fly to the moon or become super rich. Only when they’re acted out do such fantasies become something ethically and socially important.
No doubt, some liberal feminists too sometimes speak out against such films, saying they degrade women to sex-object status. No doubt, some people are portrayed like that, but again, isn’t it better to know who is feeling that way, rather than not knowing? Besides, haven’t all the people in those videos consented to be there? Again, in and of themselves there is nothing ethically wrong with them; they are just film images. It’s the actions they help cause that can become socially dangerous. So, once again, we see an important ethical truth: it’s how objects are used and the results they help create that makes actions ethically good or bad! If X-rated videos are used educationally, to learn about sexual variety and one’s own feelings, then exactly what's obscene and unhealthy about that? In fact, such films can be psychically liberating and therapeutic if they help people get in touch with their own deep subconscious feelings, and learn to express them safely and intelligently!
As Dewey noted in Human Nature and Conduct, what's psychically dangerous is being made to repress those kinds of feelings, rather than learn to express then in safe, respectful and healthy ways. Sooner or later, if such energies are repressed, they’ll find a way to affect actions, sometimes in neurotic and even psychotic ways. So, aren’t kind and healthful expressions better than making someone feel guilty about even having such thoughts? If anything is truly obscene to many of us liberals it’s the showing of films celebrating death, war, and killing, while at the same time condemning those films celebrating loving and respectful sexual actions between consenting adults! Have you learned to first get a partner’s permission by asking if you may tough them in some way? Such respectful actions even between those married for many years keeps sexual respect alive and loving. No doubt, such violent films are yet another sign of how strong those habits still are, and how weak loving actions still are. In any case, however, the more we feel sexual options for our fantasy-desires, the easier it becomes to peacefully and healthfully direct a partner to a more fulfilling sexual experience, with or without frozen yogurt or pickled pigs feet. Besides, it might be fun to see their reaction when you tell them you can only make love to someone who’s just jumped into a vat of buttermilk.
Such liberal ideas about excellent sex can help people start experimenting with their own sexual fantasies, feelings, and respect, thus learning more about excellent kinds of healthful, helpful, and joyful sex. Using sex to help others, for example, can be very rewarding, but like any other habit it too requires some training, psychology, research, and of course some practice so as not to end up being chained to a bed and left without clothes or money once again. After all, how can we grow an intelligent, enjoyable, and respectful sexual habit-art unless we know some of the dangerous results possible from not practicing such ideas? Naturally, all young folks are naïve and ignorant about such sexual knowledge at some time; for many years I know I was. In high school, when my liberated first steady girlfriend told me she wanted to be a physical therapist, I had no idea she meant wanting to use sex therapeutically, to help depressed men and women! Needless to say, that relationship didn't last long; I didn't realize how useful sex could be if it was used that way, and so she didn't want to marry me.
Healthful Sex
The topic of healthful sex takes us deeper in the subject. For those who need and want it, like any habit-art sex too can be creatively, joyfully, playfully, and even sacredly experimented with all through life, whether alone or with someone else. In fact, many people today have already elevated sex to a sacred habit-art. How many times have you seen an adult video and heard people yell ‘Oh my god’ just before their orgasm? Have you realized sex IS their god, and thus the most important feeling of all? In fact, such sacred feelings existed on a conscious level in the ancient world. As we saw in the previous section, Greek followers of Dionysus organized sexual orgies in the spring of the year; they felt such actions helped awaken the god of vegetation for another fruitful growing season. However, at the same time some Greek liberal atomists like Democritus and Epicurus were also realizing too much pleasure can also produce harmful results; too many sweets can produce painful tooth decay, and some drugs can cause addiction. Thus, Epicurus suggested pleasures of the mind were the safest of all, like contentment and fulfillment. Time and history has shown there’s some wisdom of those ideas. Healthy, safe, respectful, and intelligent sexual experimentation is rapidly replacing unrealistic sexual myths, like nothing bad can happen with same-sex relationships; such myths helped increase sex’s risky and dangerous results! Today's over 20 Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are capable of producing truly dangerous results. As a result, the idea of safe sex has become much more useful and important. Continuing to avoid endangering our most precious possession, our health, has definitely become more important for more people. Better safe than have as many partners as possible, right? If an excellent sex habit-art is to keep growing, then isn’t health an important part of it? With healthful actions as part of one’s sexual habit-art, there's less need to worry about all those STDs already floating around out there, as well as new one’s waiting to evolve and grow. Merely feeling sex is sacred doesn’t make it safe!
Like any habit, the more safe sex is practiced, the stronger it grows, and the more power we have over unhealthful and dangerous sexual results. To its credit, philosophy’s history often elevates health to our greatest personal treasure; even conservative Rene Descartes said as much. Obviously, without health life becomes much more difficult than it already is. In that respect, again it seems our public schools and churches have generally failed us; many continue ignoring even talking about health on a regular basis, much less safe sex, as if it’s still evil and corrupting. Such schools suffer from a continuing institutional weakness: they depend on public support for their income. As a result, however, so many young folks still haven’t learned how to respect the possible dangerous results of sex, as well as teaching how to make it something more than just cuming with someone else. How many insecure, undereducated people agree to casual sex just to reassure themselves they’re wanted, or to get a husband or wife, rather than respectfully looking out for everyone’s health like a bulldog guards its territory. Always saying Yes to unsafe sex risks our most precious possession. So, once again, to help reduce and control such dangerous sexual impulses, self-love is another valuable part of a healthy sex habit. It helps lessens such unsafe impulses.
Affecting its deepest levels of meaning, sexual health has become a very serious social problem, ruining lives as well as healthcare services. How many millions of undereducated people continue naively assuming all forms of casual sex are safe, only to learn they’ve caught an STD infection, or worse, AIDS? Some STDs still have no known cures, like herpes. Or how many young folks continue believing sharing drug needles is a sign of true friendship, rather than another way to get AIDS? Becoming more health-conscious about safe sex seems to be an on-going educational problem; some statistics show even AIDS is increasing in some age groups. Many still haven’t gotten the safe-sex message: Increased sharing of bodily fluids with strangers in today’s increasingly interconnected world only increases the risk of spreading dangerous bacteria and viruses.
So, once again, if you can first teach yourself to relax, feel the possible dangers involved in some ethical choices, and then use a little audacity to make sex as safe as possible, it’ll help make you a more intelligent sexual artist. For many it might not feel very exciting, romantic, or loving, but then again neither is AIDS, syphilis, or herpes. Like any other habit-art, it takes a little practice to start building such healthful habits, but as we’ve seen in Part 1, that’s the great educational use of role-playing when learning any new habit; it’s a controlled way of feeling what new ideas are like, and when to use them. And best of all, such role-playing also allows people to feel safer about yelling 'faster, faster!', or 'deeper, deeper' at just the right moment. If you just smiled at the end of the last sentence, then you’re beginning to feel how joyful safe-sex can be.
As Dewey was fond of saying, nature is dangerous AND stable, precarious AND safe. Thus, the art of ethical intelligence is always a challenge and always useful. Who really knows what’s dangerous and what’s not? Really, what else is new? Reducing sexual dangers has only been a part of biological excellence for about the last 300 million years, give or take a Chicago snow storm or 2. Each generation needs to learn how to build their own habits of safe sex and thus make life more enjoyable. Today, free love can result in a free ride to the nearest free clinic, or worse! Young Triassic reptiles of 225 million years ago, for example, learned to respond to sexual dangers from predators just as youngsters learn to avoid sexual dangers today, with trial-and-error experimentation. The great difference between those reptiles and us is all the more complex situations available today, and the more reliable knowledge we have to help build such intelligent habits, but they still take practice to make any of them more than just an idea. What good is knowing ideas if they’re not used intelligently? In fact, some of those reptiles may've been more cautious than some young folks today.
Shouldn't young folks, for example, learn in our public schools what health dangers are out there, and how to respond to them intelligently, BEFORE they start sexually spelunking with other people? Why quickly jump into a beautiful-looking pond when it could be full of flesh-eating bacteria and viruses? Isn’t it intelligent to learn more about the person or people we want to let into our sexual life? Such questions again help us see the usefulness of learning about self-love, so we don't remain slaves to our own sexual hormones and general ignorance. Such hormones in both men and women can be very dangerous when allowed to control one’s actions. Really now, if someone needs to have multiple partners, isn't it best to get those involved tested and cleared every so often? Isn’t that just intelligently ethical common sense? Such intelligent actions not only help increase our respect for our own and others’ health, but also help us become more intelligent in ALL OUR ETHICAL ACTIONS! The usual ethical saying is Look before you leap?
Again, what is so bad about such ideas? Like everything else in nature, sexual habits are organic and interconnected to all our other habits; one intelligent habit can slowly help make all our habits more intelligent too, even if their feelings are not as electrifyingly intense as sexual ones! In fact, such healthy actions can also make us thankful to all our animal ancestors of the last 300 million years for helping make sex feel so damn good! Our new evolutionary model of biology teaches us intercourse has been practiced for about that long, so why not be thankful for it? It may sound terribly un-sexual, but for Dewey "Every act is potentially subject matter of moral judgment, for it strengthens or weakens some habit." (Ethics, 211) So why keep acting like a dopey sex slave or disrespectful sex bully when we can just as easily learn to act like a respectfully intelligent person? What goes around can come around, right? No doubt, Dewey too wanted people learning what intelligent sex feels like. As Socrates said, knowledge is power, but with the growth of behavioral psychologies real ethical knowledge is now felt in one’s muscles as much as in one’s speaking habits.
Another great result of our modern sexual revolution is the freedom to talk more about such facts and feelings; such talk can be liberation’s first step away from sexual ignorance and myth. As a result, more than ever before, more psychologists are available to help people with their frustrating sexual feelings and fears; even an entire TV series -- Sex and the City -- has helped many young folks become more educated about different sexual actions and habits. Considering how timid our schools, churches, and homes have been about teaching sexual diversity, many are still unaware of the new enjoyable sexual habits they can help build. Such ignorance can sometimes lead to dangerous and desperate actions too. So, to avoid such results, why not simply learn and listen to more sexually educated people? For example, talking to a sex therapist, or even a local prostitute, can be a first step to finding that special someone you're looking for. How many prostitutes have been trained to help people with their sexual frustrations and questions, and from time to time don't we all need some help dealing intelligently with our feelings?
Today even sexually segregated nuns and priests seem to be talking more openly about sex, and sadly, sometimes even in a courtroom. How many same-sex religious convents and rectories still encourage 'special’ friends to cum together? Perhaps one day they too will help change their church’s outmoded and intolerant attitudes towards sexually diverse forms of love. Shouldn’t peoples’ sexual needs be respected, no matter what sexual tribe they belong to, especially if they haven’t vowed to be faithful to one person? At Christianity’s birth Paul of Tarsus suggested love should be the most excellent motive for all actions; later someone else wrote, god so loved the world ... . One tragedy for the Church, it seems, was to try to force all people into one sexual habit-art, rather than celebrate healthy sexual diversity. Even some popes couldn’t live up to that standard, and had children out of wedlock! As a result, today many religious leaders still remain intolerant of many peaceful and loving sexual expressions.
Finally, a few other sexual myths can be mentioned. For example, all people are sexually hot and have orgasms often! In fact, not everyone has them, certainly not all women. I think the Hite Report on Female Sexuality mentions something like 20% of women don't have orgasms -- 2 out of every ten women -- and who knows how many don't even try because becoming aroused is too difficult. Another myth is everyone is more relaxed after sex. Some people may even act angrily and disrespectfully after it. Also, perhaps the most widespread myth is women don’t respond sexually to what they see and touch. The common myth is men are stimulated visually while women are more intellectual. If that were true, then almost certainly the human race would still look much more ape-like than it now does. Women have been sexually selecting mates for tens of thousands of years, and thus have helped our species evolve to its present form. And if a person has some social and intellectual power, the attraction is often even stronger.
In any case, however, the more we know about our own sexual feelings and responses, and what we feel is normal, the easier it is to learn healthful ways of expressing those feelings, as well as see people more objectively, rather than impulsively. Such knowledge also makes it easier to build a more caringly intelligent sexual habit-art – one that’s encouraging, loving, and treats people as if they were sacred objects, rather than just sex objects! It’s either that or remain vulnerable to our own subconsciously impulsive tensions and fantasies, with all their possibly dangerous results! Have you redd about Rasputin yet? Why not make sexual sacredness and safety the best aphrodisiac of all? Such actions help make 'foreplay' more sensual and enjoyable before plunging into another warm ‘baked potato’, or messaging a back yard. Such actions also help people become more intelligent sexual teachers and artists as well.
Sex in Advertising
To say the least, many ads too are designed to subconsciously use sexual images, and thus take advantage of people’s sexual fantasies. How many women are attracted to the women pictured wearing expensive furs and diamonds, and how many men would like to take the sexy woman advertising an expensive car? Thanks in large part to our public schools not preparing students to live more intelligently in our money-hungry society, young people especially simply don’t have the psychological knowledge to see how sex is being used on a daily basis to appeal to their sexual fantasies. It would be interesting to see what corporations react forcefully if advertising psychology was taught throughout the 12 years of public education. No doubt, some would be extremely upset; their profits depend on public ignorance of such knowledge.
With the growth of a money-based economy and profits-above-all-else, popular advertising is often geared to using sexy-looking people to make people act as impulsively as possible; hurry, hurry, hurry, call now, now, now. And wouldn’t it also be interesting to know how much mute buttons are cutting into corporate profits and credit card debt. Interesting questions for economic doctoral students, right?
Such advertising is perhaps as old as Egypt's pyramids; the attractive and powerful-looking pharaoh needs a new tomb or else the gods will punish all of us. Not only are sexy images used, but many often keep running over and over again, ad nauseum. After a while it’s just human nature to start believing and responding to such ads. If such advertising didn’t work, it simply wouldn’t be used, and it works because most people are still grossly undereducated about how advertising psychology is necessary for profits in our new economic world. In fact, both economics and psychology are still almost completely ignored in our public schools; they’d rather teach water-downed versions of US history and 19th century literature, rather than useful subjects like business skills and how to build more useful habit-arts.
As a result, many young folks naively believe many ads are informative, rather than sexually manipulative. Many are based mainly on subconscious sexual fantasies and patriotic images -- on what people want to see. People around the world still want to believe god is looking after their nation, and it’ll be disappointed if people don’t keep fulfilling their religious myths. Many men still believe in the myth blonde women always have more sexual fun. Even in ancient Rome blond wigs sold like hotcakes to women on their way to the Coliseum’s brutal Christian-mauling matinees; many believed Roman gods didn’t want any religious competition! People have sexual fantasies about blonde women, therefore we can sell more blond wigs. I wonder ... on some planet somewhere would advertisers use avocados to sell cars and foot-odor pads if they were sex objects? No doubt.
Also helping keep life fantasy-based, some TV shows and adult films too can promote dangerous actions, especially if you act on their often unintelligent and disrespectful sexual examples! When’s the last time you saw anyone on TV stop to talk about each other’s sexual needs, birth control, or safe sex before having sex? Many actors play people who just impulsively hop into bed as quickly as they buy a toothbrush. As a result, intelligently safe and respectful sex becomes even more difficult to practice and turn into a strong habit-art. Advertisers are tied to ratings and so shows often appeal to impulsive people. The more people watch a show, the more money a station makes. It thus brings up another rather interesting question: How many in our economic system are selling out peoples' sexual health merely for higher profits, higher stock prices, and medical incomes? It would be one thing if our public schools weren’t supported by tax money, and thus weren’t meant to serve public needs, but they are, and so should be teaching such usefully intelligent sexual realities in classes. Evidently such useful classes aren’t part of producing the ever-popular well-rounded student, and so can’t even be experimented with. It seems our economic system is designed to firmly draw a line where profits are concerned, and any knowledge crossing that line must become a target for attack. As a result, few in the business, educational, or entertainment community seem against allowing the teaching of such advertising psychology in our public schools, while those that do certainly should be applauded and supported. As we’ve been seeing, just as there's more to excellent art than painting and sculpting, more to excellent architecture than drawing, and more to excellent health than pushing pills, so too there's more to living intelligently in a profits-hungry society than believing what our sexy ads tell us. Without such knowledge, people will remain more vulnerable to those creating such ads, and poorer as well.
Make Someone Laugh, Faster and Faster!!
As with any habit-art, if not treated as a sacred and enjoyably satisfying art, sex too can soon become overly routine, mechanical, and hence boring. How many couples separate because they never taught themselves to truly treat sex in that way, loving to touch and be touched by a partner? Practicing tender and loving sex is the best antidote to boring and routine sex. Such practice helps keep sex sacred, holy, and fun. It's another reason humor is so important; it helps make even sex more enjoyable and felt as an ethical end-in-itself, that is something done just for itself, rather than just some way to get off. Humor during sex helps make the experience more enjoyably sacred, whether or not you have fresh batteries for your vibrating avocado egg helping you yell faster, faster as the electrified moment approaches. Making funny kinds of sexual comments about yourself helps keep the art of sacred sex alive, growing, and enjoyable; wow, there’s that warm parking space for my little salami!
Dewey saw every experience is different and unique and so being able to see humor is a very useful art; it keeps the act fresh and alive, rather than boring and dull. It also helps make sex feel more sacred and joyful. Without such humor and enjoyment, and without putting safety first, eventually even sex can become boring and unimportant. Often the best antidote to such negative experiences is joyfully sacred and happy sex, especially with those you care for, respect, and love. Also, with such excellent sex habits life itself becomes easier to make more meaningful and relaxing, either with or without whipped cream, cherries, vibrators, honey, or sexual stamina pills. Frankly, Vitamin E also works wonderfully, at least for some men; and for many women some alcohol stimulates testosterone and thus increases sexy feelings. So again, making sex a playfully sacred art sometimes means making fun of ourselves, like, can you find my love muscle without a magnifying glass? Such humor makes sex an enjoyable adventure. And if it isn’t that, shouldn’t everyone have the right to either change it or move on to another partner? Who knows; one day that might become everyone’s right, but only if people start practicing it. After all, sexual needs and wants often change during life, whether people are heterosexual, bi-sexual, homosexual, or mono-sexual? I eventually learned many women wanted me for just a fertilizing machine. We’ll see more about such actions in the next section.
Early in his career Freud took sex very seriously, as Victorians usually did. He pictured one’s sexual energy or libido as a very powerful instinctive psychic force, active even in childhood. What’s more, the more it was frustrated and repressed, the more people developed neuroses later in life; it wasn’t wise to mess with such basic psychic energies. One way or another, such energies need to be liberated and expressed in healthy ways. As a result, the analyst’s job was to allow a patient to talk about themselves and their childhoods to help liberate those energies. The more, say, a girl wasn't allowed to bounce on daddy’s knee whenever she wanted, the more neurotic she might become later in life. Also, the more boys were stopped by their fathers from touching and feeling their mothers, the more they might want to kill their fathers and marry their mothers -- the classic Oedipal complex written about in ancient Greece!
However, even ordinary people like myself have noticed how one's sexual energy too depends on diet more than so-called animal instincts! Those people whose diets build higher levels of testosterone naturally have more sexual energy. Alcohol and white sugar, for example, help produce more testosterone even in women, as do fatty foods. Conversely, the less those foods are eaten, the easier it is to keep more control of our sexual impulses and desires. Religious mystics have known about such diet ideas for thousands of years and so fasting often became a sacred religious art, like John the Baptist's living on locust insects and wild honey. Judaism's Essene sect, to which John the Baptist almost certainly belonged, allowed sex only for having children. Evidently they didn’t want to hear cries of faster, faster more often than necessary. No doubt, living in desert conditions around the Dead Sea limited their resources for having more children.
With the growth of Behavioral psychologies, however, all such verbal methods of making sex an enjoyably sacred act have grown weaker. For us Deweyan liberals sexual energies become liberated and excellent the more we practice liberating and excellent sex, including self-love! In short, for us Deweyan Behaviorists, excellent sex is always the result of active sexual practice! No doubt, to many serious young folks today sex may feel like it's even more powerful than Freud thought it was, but unless one learns to actively build excellent sexual habits, the more difficult satisfying sex becomes. Feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy are common in many people, thus making self-love even more difficult to practice. It’s yet another myth about healthy sex. Many people feel they always need someone else for really good sex, or else it can never feel right. Where is it written someone can’t yet out faster, faster during another session of self-love?
Sexual Feelings Begin Growing in Childhood
As many parents including Freud learn, sexual feelings can start growing even in childhood, but they needn’t determine one’s sexual habits for the rest of one’s life! No doubt, it’s not always easy, but sooner or later people can learn to take control of their own lives and growth. Some parents begin bonding emotionally with their children soon after they’re born, and thus help determine their sexual feelings later in life. Although I’ve seen no objective evidence all people are born with their sexual habits, it’s clear they can begin growing in childhood. Aloof mothers can make it easier for children to become closer to warm and nurturing fathers, and thus help form their sexual feelings long before adolescence. Such childhood feelings often determine sexual actions later on. Many women and men who never bonded with one kind and caring person may feel life is best when they have many different special friends. They’re what’re often called the cum-and-go types; they feel best in such situations. They’re independent people who like to feel emotionally free from other people. They’re interested mainly in using sex to satisfy their monthly or weekly sexual needs.
Others, of course, who have bonded with one parent often feel they need to bond sexually and emotionally with only one other person. So again the more people know about their childhood environment and how their adult models acted, the easier it becomes to actually practice the sexual habits they want to build. Hyper-critical parents often make children feel they’re inadequate, and so want many different sexual partners. And extremely negative and controlling parents often make children feel they can’t have any long-term relationships. Also, children of continually arguing parents often find it difficult to build a loving and caring relationship with anyone besides themselves. In short, knowing about such childhood events and their feelings helps people better understand those feelings, and perhaps become more tolerant about others’ different feelings and habits. There’s no reason to see them as evil, just different.
Again, such feelings begin growing in childhood, but that certainly doesn’t mean they can’t ever be improved with different actions. As many now know, even sexual feelings and habits can keep growing throughout life! True, most of us begin our sexual life with certain limiting desires for what makes us feel most comfortable. Are we talkers, the silent type, lookers, screamers, moaners, bagel-eaters, or what? But, that needn’t stop us from growing even more joyful habits. Believe it or not some people may even decide to live more dangerously and have a little halvah on their bagel after sex, or maybe once in while a little salsa! How about a little herring tonight my dear? Who knows? For those who're pregnant maybe even a little peanut butter and ketchup might be good after sex.
Such childhood experiences help build the adult and their sexual fantasies, like having sex with a doctor or nurse, or even a world-famous bagel-maker down the street! Or maybe you’re the more intellectual type and fantasize about having sex with a world-famous bagel-noshing psychoanalyst who helps a partner undress, crave wild and crazy sex, and then light up a bagel afterwards! You might even like to light each other’s bagel -- zowie! Is that sacred sex or what?
“Say sweetheart, how about wearing some edible underwear tonight? Thongs? Well ok. What flavor? I like butterscotch myself. What’s your favorite?” …. Or … “Lover let's think of some new uses for our new vibrating avocado shall we? You wanna make hot monkey guacamole together in the kitchen? Now where would you like that vibrating avocado my dear? Ah, how's that feel?” Such sexual playfulness is a great way to keep sex enjoyable and fun, even if you never saw your parents act so playfully. Such playful feelings help create a desire for more sex, as well as helping make other activities more playful and enjoyable. Playful kinds of sex may even help relax some neurotic tensions. Personally I stay away from avocados; they're just too fattening.
As mankind continues transforming our negative superstitious sexual habits and taboos into enjoyably sacred life-affirming actions, it becomes easier to play with one’s sexual feelings too. Such playfulness is liberating and healthy if all agree. “Shall we play doctor and patient tonight my dear, or Pharaoh and the slave?” Today many millions now know sex can become an enjoyable and stimulating playful art with a little role-playing. Who wants to play the pirate and the slave; the Emperor and the concubine; the 2 horny gypsies; or maybe even the farmer and a sheep -- don’t ask me, I just write 'em down. Freud called it free-association. Actually even many Eskimos have already made sex an enjoyable and fun habit. Others of course just revel in the touch of someone else, savor it, and make the experience as tender, sacred, and loving as possible. Such sex helps people feel worthwhile and important. Hasn’t one of life's most rewarding habit-arts been dominated by silent, solemn, and serious thinkers for too long, as if it really is evil and sinful?
Just like similar personalities make the best friends, similar sexual habits often make the best lovers; not always, but often. That certainly wasn’t the case with one woman I assumed had similar habits to my own. Even though I wanted the relationship to work we weren’t compatible sexually, and so it ended after a few years. She wasn’t about to change and she finally realized I wasn’t about to change either. She wanted men like me for a few minutes, and mostly for their fertilizing potential. Being young and sexually naïve I didn't know how to talk intelligently with her about sex. Both my childhood and school life never taught me how to ask intelligent questions of other people. If you’re like that, then learning to talk about sexual habits and make them more enjoyable will take some time and effort, but the results can be rewarding. If not, then a potentially very fine, tender, and enjoyable human art can quickly become a disrespectful 'karmic' nightmare, as well as an emotional nothingness. In short, more often than not, the more people work to enjoyably satisfy similar sexual needs and likes, the easier it is to grow a healthy relationship or marriage. I know emotionally shallow, casual sex isn't for me, and probably never will be, so I’m not at all interested in the cum-and-go types. Conservatives may call those with similar habits ‘soul’ mates, moderates like Aristotle may say there is one psyche in 2 bodies, but for us Deweyans their habits are just similar. Who was it that said, butts of a feather bunk best together? I mean besides me. No doubt, because of our childhood experiences sometimes finding a similar mate may take a while, but those who truly need someone else will keep looking.
Also, some people are just much more anal-sensitive than others and are aroused to orgasm only with anal stimulation. Others are more genital sensitive, and some are both genital and anal. No doubt, such feelings too start growing in childhood, as parents continue sensitizing sexual organs. In any case, however, the more one knows about one’s own sexual feelings, the easier it is to keep making those habits more enjoyable. Knowing about our childhood experiences helps make us feel more psychically whole, but it’s just a beginning; excellent sex isn’t the result of such knowledge; it’s more a guiding factor.
Without some useful knowledge about how childhood experiences affect our adult actions, young folks don’t really know which sexual tribe they should join. Again, some intelligent experimentation might be useful. Many young folks don't realize how their own adult models have helped shape their own sexual feelings, and thus are psychically disconnected from learning who to best express their feelings with. Are they more comfortable with women or men? Both psychological testing and experimenting can help people know more about such sexual needs and wants. Men who prefer male friends, and women who prefer women friends, simply tend towards same-sex relationships; it’s almost as simple as that.
What Dangers Can Sexual Liberation Create?
Finally, are there any possibly dangerous results from building such excellent sexual habit-arts? There's at least one for sure. Once an imaginative, joyful, sacred, and creatively experimental habit-art starts growing, it might be tough to actually stop having fun with sex! “Now my dear, before we begin, how about a little avocado in your bagel? Why not think of me as your G-spot slave, any time, any place, anywhere? What tune would you like me to hum today? Different strokes for different sexual habits in everyone’s city, right?
For building such sexual skills and habits we Deweyan liberals say FORWARD! Forward, to learning about all the safe, enjoyable, sacred, respectful, sex experiences we intelligently choose to play with. Who knows, such playfulness may even help strengthen our ethical boldness and audacity? I realize it’s a risk we liberals take, but, as a wise person once said with a big grin, excellent sex encourages tolerance for those people with different habits. I've actually seen playful experimental sex help lessen psychic somberness! And then, horror of horrors, it can even help people start having more audacious fun in life.
Why shouldn’t we all enjoy celebrating life as much as possible, sex included? Don’t we really owe it to ourselves to build such sexual habit-arts? Why shouldn't we happily and confidently enjoy helping intolerant and undereducated people know more about healthful sexual expressions? For us liberals, sex can be liberating. Imagine how many people out there can be better educated about healthful sex: psychologists, hustlers, depressive parents, greedy capitalists, Communists, Fascists, disrespectful clowns, violent people, hateful and egotistical dictators ... really, who knows who might benefit? The whole liberal sexual revolution is about helping others become more intelligent, healthier, happier, more tolerant, and more confident about their lawful and respectful sexual actions. Just imagine what our world would be like without the greedy craving for more money, money, money, and without condemning others merely because of whom they need and choose to love. Believe it or not folks, there actually are people who've learned how to make sex more audaciously sacred and enjoyable without money, AND help teach others how to have sexual fun as well! Now that's what I call an excellent sexual habit-art. How many have learned money isn’t necessary for simply practicing excellent sex? There are so many natural habits and feelings in THIS life worth enjoying and savoring deeply, and sex is definitely one of them. Dewey’s experimentally intelligent morality can be useful for building all of them! FORWARD!
Finally, to make all these ideas perfectly clear and useful I offer the following lamentably lame limerick. I think it’ll either help increase one’s sexual enjoyment, give up sex altogether, or perhaps something in between; who knows?
Clyde Cretan had earned some fame,
Sex, he felt, was definitely his game.
But even the whores,
Felt him a bore,
While saying he deserved his unusual name.
9. GAMES OF FREEDOM: BASIC RULES AND HISTORY
Rule #1: Everyone is a potential player, whether they know it or not, presidents to poor folks. Everyone has a set of ethical values, and games of freedom test those values. If so, then only naïve people think there are no other important ethical choices to make besides sexual ones, and nobody cares what my other actions are. Money too is an important ethical value. For all those who would like to know more about such games, these 2 sections are for you. After all, such games may affect your own freedom; the life you save may be your own! In fact, those people who still don’t believe such games exist may number in the millions. As a result, they might not know how to keep winning such ethical games of freedom, and thus remain free to keep making their lives more enjoyable and satisfying, as well as be helped by others. Once again, the world will always welcome lovers.
Rule #2: Anything goes. In fact, many people out there love to play such games of freedom, and might do most anything to test other people’s ethical character values, anything from taking away one’s home to openly insulting people. Such games are useful for discovering one’s ethical values. Who puts money and profits, or religious ideas, above human life and wellbeing? With the growth of democratic values like equal rights, those kinds of ethical questions have become more important.
In such games the word ‘fishing’ becomes useful; I don't mean fishing for fish, I mean fishing for confused and/or greedy people out there who don’t put human life, wellbeing, and peace above all else! Those who don’t are simply more dangerous to people than others. Also, how disconnected from reality does someone get with alcohol or drugs? As our popular media is fond of reminding us, such people can produce truly tragic results for innocent people. Simply because many people still don’t know what’s ethically most important, namely human safety and wellbeing, they often endanger it with their own actions, war being of course the most tragic example of all. Sadly, political leaders start wars, not the people who fight in them. As a result, to help make our world safer and more enjoyable, many today play such ethical games of freedom; they fish around with different kinds of ‘bait,’ like money and drugs, and see who might who ‘bites.’ They might offer some ‘bait’ to lure those who often believe they can get away with anything they want! No one’s watching them, or so they think!
To us Deweyan liberals that assumption is certainly naïve; in fact it can be dangerous. The more one feels no one cares about their actions or will hold them responsible for them, the easier it is to do whatever they want. So, without knowing more about such games of freedom, vulnerable people can easily get 'hooked', as it were, by their own greedy and disrespectful impulses and actions, thus endangering their freedom with, for example, criminal actions. Again, such ‘fishing’ is aimed at testing one's ethical character. If nothing else, such ethical games help make an otherwise boring life a little more interesting.
To those who are skeptical such games even exist, I would ask them to think a little more deeply about them. Even in high school some students are already learning to play such games of freedom; they’re listening to what fellow students are saying and then testing they ethical actions. Again, probably most students usually believe people simply go about their daily work while ignoring everyone else. Such a naïve assumption makes it easier for some people to think they can get away with breaking the law or even disrespecting anyone they choose. They act as if such games of freedom don’t exist. So, for such people a good first step is acting as if such games do in fact exist, and at every level of society too, from the poorest neighborhoods to the wealthiest and most powerful. As we’ll see a little later, in the Middle Ages people were normally taught to believe god is watching all their actions, and will eventually hold people responsible for them. However, as such ideas have grown weaker in our modern age, it’s become easier to believe people are completely free to do whatever they want, rather than build ethical habits capable of winning such games of freedom. The ethical good news is anyone can learn how to keep winning such games! Again, isn’t very useful to know how helpful or dangerous people might be, as well as know what ethical actions are most likely to make life a more rewarding and satisfying place to be!
In fact, such games of freedom may be more important today as they ever were. Why? Simply because we now have more terribly destructive weapons than ever before, and life is so much more interconnected and interactive. Even one person can now cause great amounts of pain and suffering to many people. What will someone do with $100, and what will they do for $100? What will they do to please radical religious or greedy corporate leaders, and what won’t they do? So, believing such games of freedom really exist can help people build a much more intelligent set of ethical values, so they can keep improving life and increase both their own and others’ freedom as well! The alternative may be going to jail and losing much of one’s freedom. Even without knowing such testing is going on out there, you may have already been tested; I certainly have. For example, if you're in a jail cell right now, you've already played such games and lost, but it doesn’t mean you have to remain a loser. No, it just means you need to build some more intelligent ethical habits to become a winner. In short, you just need to practice more intelligent ethical habits. So yet again we can see how important our public schools, homes, and churches are for making society safer and more enjoyable; learning such useful ethical values can begin even before a child goes to school.
If you still believe such games don’t exist, you’re certainly not alone. In fact, most of mankind is still growing out of many unintelligent ethical habits. Perhaps the 2 most common ones are believing my own religious habits are eternal and unchanging Truth, and also believing everyone who doesn’t accept them should be discriminated against. Liberal Dewey often wrote about how important it is to keep growing and deepening our new democratic, ethical, educational, and even tribal habits of excellence! With the growth of modern anthropology and democratic forms of government, and with the weakening of many religious ideas, many new ethical ideas have recently become important to learn. What’s more, because many of our schools, homes, and churches still aren’t formally teaching what those new habits feel like when they’re practiced, many young folks are still entering adult life unprepared for the way such ethical games of freedom can be won. As we’ll see, even Dewey himself was tested for his ethical excellence; no doubt even his own wife and friends tested him in many ways, to see how he would react.
For such games the word 'fishing' is useful. For example, some people might use some glitzy-looking jewelry to 'fish' for excessively greedy and disrespectful people. Such people will often take whatever they think is important to have, even though they haven’t honestly earned it. Money too is often used as bait to hook people, and test their character excellence. Keeping such ‘bait’ helps identify those who’re willing to disrespect our just laws aimed at making social life safer, better organized, and more enjoyable. And perhaps most important of all, such ‘bait’ also tests people to see how kind and helpful they are with their money; how much will they use it to help those who need some help? In short, games of freedom are aimed at finding out just how dangerous or helpful people are. Sometimes police officers, politicians, and bankers are tested with stolen goods and drugs to see where they draw their ethical lines of greed. In fact, recently, many police officers around the country have been tested to see how much they respect others’ rights, and some have shown less than excellent results. Even teachers are being tested these days to see how honest they are with student test scores; more and more teaching jobs are being linked to such scores. It’s yet another example of how some conservatives want to make teachers less free to teach other things besides academic trivia.
If what I see from time to time is accurate, the playing field for such games of freedom is wide indeed, from Wall Street and Washington DC to any community Skid Row. Drugs and money are still very common types of bait. Why? Again, it’s helpful to know where people draw their ethical lines; exactly what do they respect and disrespect? If, for example, a person gets or finds some money or objects they haven't honestly earned and keeps them, then they become vulnerable to those who do own such objects. And, when you hear about a congressperson being arrested for taking illegal campaign money, or a Skid Row drug dealer being arrested, then it's safe to assume they were tested and lost their games of freedom. The result might be the loss of political power, or even jail. In short, such ethical games can be played no matter what economic class you belong to. What right has anyone to keep what they haven't honestly earned and paid for?
Some History of Freedom Games
How far back into history do such games go? Would you believe tens of thousands of years? Anthropologists and historians are teaching us such games of freedom are that old. No doubt, the most common result of such games is slavery! Even some North American native tribes made slaves from other tribes. And in Europe such games of freedom probably went back before permanent villages even existed before 8,000 BCE! Capturing slaves was a natural extension of capturing hunted animals. After permanent villages and farming communities evolved, people were needed to work the fields and tend the animals; slaves thus became more useful, as did warring against other towns to capture and enslave such workers, women and children included. The sooner a child is taught to be a slave, the sooner they become one. After all, who wants to work a farm when you can make someone else work for you? Such violent games of freedom became common throughout the ancient world as towns grew into cities and workers were needed to build them. It’s yet another reason mechanical science took so long to evolve; slaves were used for such work as building Egypt’s Great Pyramids and ancient religious temples.
All during the last few thousand years, religious ideas have also been used to restrict peoples’ political, scientific, and educational freedoms. Most people, including Socrates and Plato, were taught to believe the gods controlled life itself. Thus, eventually, both conservative religious and philosophic ideas were used to justify forcefully restricting peoples’ freedom.
As we’ll see in Book 2’s Native Models of Excellence, tool making began evolving more than 2 million years ago, and became useful for hunting food animals. For many hundreds of thousands of years hunting habits aimed at ending an animal's freedom; if an animal fell into a trap its freedom soon resulted in tasty dinner kabobs! However, when the last Ice Age ended around 8,000 BCE most of the big game animals had already been ‘kabobbed’ to extinction. In North America, for example, horse-kabobs helped make them extinct long before Europeans began forcing their way onto the continent. At first many natives thought men riding horses were gods.
As food animals became scarcer, however, new and different food sources were needed. Luckily some areas like the Middle East had many easily tamed animals like cows, pigs, sheep, and goats as well as some nutritious plants like wheat and barley. So, animal herding and farming arts soon evolved together with permanent villages and towns. Slaves made all such work easier, and so games of freedom often became violent and more widespread. Slave owners soon realized restricting one’s educational and economic freedoms made it easier to control them. So, every once in a while men got together, rode into another town, wrecked and burned everything, and made slaves of anyone they could, women and children especially. Farms need to be worked, meals cooked, clothes made and herds watched, and what freedom was lost to a few increased freedom to those with more social power; such violent games of freedom were played even into the 1900s, aimed at keeping people enslaved. The US Civil War (1860-1864) was merely one such example. All such events can be pictured as violent games of freedom. Even today, some people still force young women to become sex slaves; it’s nothing personal, it’s just business.
Ancient Games of Freedom
After 8,000 BCE some small towns slowly grew into cities as more and more shiny jewels and trinkets continued floating around and farms continued growing. Slaves and trinkets were useful objects; they helped make life easier for those with social power. And when more powerful armed gangs called armies learned how to make the conquered keep paying not to be killed, cities became empires; Persia was the largest example in the 400s BCE, extending all the way from Iran to Western Turkey. Ancient Athenians, too, built one freedom-robbing empire by demanding their allies pay them for protection from the Persians, thus increasing Athenian freedom to make more money at home and build more temples on the Acropolis with slave labor. Shortly afterwards, conservative Plato and moderate Aristotle even worked to justify slave labor with their philosophic assumptions of nature as a pyramid-shaped structure of increasing worth and value. As mentioned many times already, for both of them slavery was natural and normal. Sadly, however, as this stage of civilization such games of freedom often rested on pure force, rather than testing one’s ethical habits, as is often the case with modern games of freedom.
In ancient times enslaving people with violent games of freedom called war became more organized and, if your gang won, made life more enjoyable by acquiring more trinkets and slaves. For the winners life became more comfortable and leisurely for a few, somewhat more comfortable for soldiers, and miserable for the losers. War, rape, and pillage were far more exciting compared to sitting around and watching the corn and barley grow. Those who lost their games of freedom were forced to grow others' food and milk their cows while men often resorted to murdering rebels to keep them enslaved, as often happened by Spartans in southern Greece. Such brutal games of freedom were then made legal by laws; slaves were often passed on from father to son the same way Tyrannosaurs’ taught their young to bite anything that didn’t bite them first.
In ancient times -- 500 BCE-500 CE -- people began growing more civilized habit-arts, like settling their differences in courts and giving slaves a little more freedom and some rights, but violent games of freedom continued right on in the 1800s with the help of laws justifying them; in case you haven’t noticed that was less than 200 years ago, not even yesterday in geologic time! One of the early examples of religious ideas justifying such games of freedom involved Socrates himself. One of liberal Protagoras’s idea was not to break the law unless your life’s was endangered. Socrates, however, believed in not breaking the law even when his life was endangered!
After he provoked a jury of 501 Athenians into condemning him to death for corrupting the youth and not worshipping Athens' gods, he could have disrespected their death sentence, escaped, and kept his freedom by avoided that fatal cup of hemlock. He didn't; he saw it was his time to die; his inner voice or conscience didn’t object to the verdict. In the Crito Plato poignantly describes how Socrates calmly told his friends he wouldn't disrespect the jury’s decision, even though they had already arranged to pay the guards off. To him obeying the law would finally increase his freedom by releasing him from all the natural world’s pain and suffering. Thus, for him it would be wrong to break the jury's verdict. Once it's assumed gods exist and are enslaving everyone to their power, then the law becomes more than just a human creation; obeying it becomes a sacred duty; it becomes god’s will and eternal Truth! And again for Aristotle, some people should even be forced to lose almost all their freedom just because they were uneducated and poor! Slaves shouldn't take it personally; restricting their freedom was just part of nature’s eternal scale of human worth and dignity.
Medieval Games of Freedom
In the Middle Ages (500-1500) religious ideas helping justify such violent games of freedom became even more widespread, especially in Europe, southern Asia, and northern Africa. Slavery continued on with Jewish, Christian, and Muslim religious ideas. The Prophet himself was a slave owner and seller, but Muslims were also advised not to enslave other Muslims, to treat their slaves kindly, and free them occasionally; for that they would be rewarded. Still, only a few liberal Muslims said slavery should be abolished; even today in parts of Africa Muslim women are sometimes abducted and forced into marriage with Muslim men; what freedom should they have? Beginning in the 800s Norse Vikings too discovered killing people and taking their trinkets and women make life less stressful for themselves.
During this period both Christians and Muslims engaged in such violent games of freedom, often justified with swords and religious ideas of Absolute Truth and god’s will; not always, but often. Because many religious leaders arrogantly said their truth was the eternal and unchanging Truth, they felt they had the right to take others' freedom and force their obedience! Many in the white Christian tribe used their religious ideas to justify believing they were in fact god’s chosen people and therefore superior to all others. Even thousands of years before that, similar religious ideas helped unite separate nomadic Hebrew tribes into a Jewish culture. Even today conservative Christians and Muslims still assume the same ideas about religious truth – they were chosen by god for a special role.
Today many modern native peoples still use the word ‘mana’ to describe some special kind of freedom or power, and no doubt did during medieval times. For example, someone who's an exceptional artist or hunter was said to have artistic or hunting mana, or freedom, while those captured in war have lost their mana. Such primitive ideas helped justify slavery even before ancient times. Thus, Africans captured by other Africans in the 1500s, and then sold to Christian and Islamic slave traders, could be pacified by telling them they had simply lost their mana -- their freedom and power. In short, it was just the way life sometimes works. Thus, the 'mana' idea too would not only justify slave trading but keeping people in slavery too! All such ideas simply made it easier for slaves to accept their 'fate'; don’t worry you’ve just lost your mana -- your power to be free. After you die you can still go to heaven and have complete freedom if you believe in our god. No doubt, many slaves were also told being enslaved was all god’s will and your reward will come later. And, as in ancient times, laws were often passed to keep people enslaved and ignorant from one generation to the next! (If you don't feel like smiling now after reading about such brutal games of freedom, I'll understand.)
Judaism, Christianity, and Islam of course often encouraged ethical kindness to slaves, as they did to the sick, poor, orphaned, and widowed. Jewish law even said slaves should be freed every 7 years, but after 1500 such games of freedom became based on wealth and economic slavery. For example, people often came to America as indentured servants for, say, 7 years, and then got their freedom. The Church too had its own games of freedom based on money.
On a daily basis Christians were taught to believe everyone sins and somehow offends a god who is already eternally perfect and unchanging. Thus, most everyone was psychically enslaved by believing such ideas, so it was easy for people called Summoners and Pardoners to go from town to town, snoop around for a few days, find out who was breaking church rules, then summon them and start taking their money to restore their heavenly freedom! Such a game thus reduced their economic freedom to live a better life. No doubt, such games helped slow the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, but the price was a reduced economic freedom; the less money power people had, the less power they had to revolt. Selling so-called Indulgences also led people to believe they could simply pay for their freedom; sin today and pay the Pardoner tomorrow! We may smile at such religious games of freedom today, but they were all taken very seriously by most every Christian, and thus helped keep life as dangerous and ignorant as ever. Such ideas helped convince people they couldn’t achieve excellence or experiment to make life safer and more enjoyable for everyone! The more people felt they were constantly sinning every day, the more they needed the Church and its rituals for restoring their freedom. Such games of freedom thus increased their obedience to their churches. Again, however, all such games of freedom depend on how young folks are educated to play them. And today such economic games of freedom continue on a worldwide scale. It certainly seems the wealthy upper class is still winning its economic games of freedom. Such actions tell us such games are as alive and real as they’ve ever been.
Modern Games of Freedom
Luckily, with the growth of modern science, such religious assumptions justifying such games of freedom have been growing much weaker while games based on economic wealth have been growing much stronger. In our modern period so-called sacred religious books are no longer accepted by millions of people, and thus don’t keep arrogantly denying people their equal rights, at least in much of today's more democratic world. No doubt, it’s certainly not inevitable we liberal democrats will eventually win all our games of freedom from religious and economic conservatives; many still believe we should have an on-going economic aristocracy restricting many forms of human freedom, and where huge amounts of wealth are automatically passed on from one generation to the next. But in much of the world today such economic games of freedom are becoming more difficult to play. More people than ever before are becoming more aware of the own local power to resist such games, and thus increase their own freedom.
In any case, however, such economic games of freedom continue even today. The same rule applies: the less economic freedom a person or nation has, the less economic and educational power they have. Today, conservative wealthy folks know only too well, the less wealth and education people have, the less political power they have, and so ‘slave wages’ and useful forms of education have become useful tools for restricting someone else’s freedom. In fact, such economic and educational games of freedom have been played for well over 100 years in much of the industrial world, the US included! Restrictive voting rights laws too continue limiting peoples’ democratic freedom and power to take more control of their own lives! The more people experience only one form of education, the more they feel only it is the best model, even though it’s only one among many. Such educational games of freedom have continued on into our modern age.
Since Christianity began losing its monopolistic social, educational, and political power in the 1500s, it’s lost much of its ability to play their games of freedom. More people-friendly democratic forms of freedom began growing stronger in the 1700s and 1800s. During what’s called the Enlightenment in the 1700s, a few such types began telling people all such religious games of freedom were unnecessary to making life better for everyone here and now. In reaction to those kinds of democratic ideas, conservatives of course reacted by continued to limit peoples’ political, voting, economic, and educational freedoms. Democratic habits increased the possible freedom to take more control of their own lives by electing people who could better represent their interests, and even pass laws they could vote on directly. Instead of increasing their freedom by obeying religious ideas, more people began feeling the old liberal Greek idea: human value and well-being was much more important for building a better life than obeying religious ideas no one could prove or even test. Slowly, abolishing violent forms of slavery helped increase peoples’ human freedoms around the world; more people didn’t feel the need to play such religious and economic games of freedom.
That was the good news. The bad news was replacing such games of freedom with more liberal economic and educational rules remained difficult for many. Old religious and aristocratic economic habits have been difficult to improve. After all, how can people easily win such old games of freedom when they remain enslaved to their debts and ignorance? With the growth of an obscenely wealthy class in much of the world, who control many of the freedoms people have today, games of freedom become more of a personal character-testing game than anything else. Thus, conservatives and liberals continue playing such games, hoping to see who’ll take the freedom-robbing ‘bait’ they’re offering.
A recent example of such an economic game was played with houses. Banks began offering people the ‘bait’ of buying their own home knowing full well many people wouldn’t be able to make the payments. Many people put up thousands of dollars to play such a game, and soon lost it all when they lost their jobs in yet another economic recession! And with the loss of money went more of their freedom. And on an even more personal level, bosses and workers keep testing each other’s ethical values, hoping to perhaps limit their freedoms. For decades in the US workers have been paid as low as possible, often justified by corporate leaders by saying the more money the poor have, the more babies they’ll have and the more poor people there’ll produce! Economic debt thus becomes another threat to one’s freedom; work is necessary to pay off one’s debts, and more one is forced to work, the less freedom one has to keep freeing people from such games of freedom. It’s as if a giant social experiment is begin played: How much debt will people risk taking out before they might endanger their own freedom? In such a world liberal ideas like natural and inalienable human rights and freedoms still keep growing.
During the 1800s, for example, the US tribe of white male Christians often brutalized and terrorized minority peoples, and of course for centuries religious ideas were used to limit the freedoms of gays, lesbians, and Jews, often violently too. Such groups were often a favorite target for disrespect, ridicule, and violence. Sometimes some people are so focused on keep a monopoly on their social freedoms, they’ll easily break the law merely on orders from the group they're with -- gang mentality. Wartime examples, where huge sums of money are involved, are even more examples of economic games of freedom. Many times politicians have even lied to the public so their supporters can make billions in profits while soldiers and innocent civilians are killed by the millions! In the early 1990s, for example, the conservative US president George H. W. Bush told the public massive amounts of Iraqi troops were ready to invade Kuwait, and yet pictures later revealed that simply was a lie. Such military games of freedom have become common in any nation which builds an empire; leaders are then almost forced to respond to the slightest attack on their empire, no matter who loses their freedom in the process. Bush’s elder son too also sent people to lie to the world about the weapons the Iraqi government was supposedly building, and thereby justifying hundreds of thousands of people losing their freedom to live peaceful and productive lives. The results of such actions seem obvious: the more people aren’t help responsible for such violent games of freedom, the more dangerous life becomes for all of us. How many thousands of new terrorists are being trained to make life more dangerous for all of us?
Obviously most people respect laws against murder, rape, and kidnapping, and thus know how to resist such ‘bait,’ but sometimes in a group of friends even that respect may end and restricting someone’s freedom becomes vicious. Especially for many young folks with weak character habits, sometimes just a little peer group pressure is enough for them to physically endanger someone else’s freedom -- everyone called me ‘chicken’ so I tossed the bomb or raped the woman; I didn’t like the way everyone was clucking at me. Such games of freedom can quickly result in one’s going to jail. Not guilty by reason of peer pressure? German Nazis tried such defenses when they were tried for war crimes at Nuremberg after World War 2. It didn’t work then, and it shouldn’t work today.
In truth, these are merely a few examples of such games of freedom. What're tested in such games are one’s ethical character habits. How democratic or autocratic are you; how liberal or conservative are you; how peaceful or violent are you? Are you willing to die merely to disobey a politician who says our country is in danger? Such games tell us who might be dangerous and who probably won’t be, who can be trusted and who deserves a nice new shiny pair of handcuffs? Thus, modern life continues playing games of freedom. People will often offer some ‘bait’ to others in the form of trinkets, money, or even drugs to see who ‘bites.’ Sometimes cars, jewelry, homes, and sex are offered. Some people think it’s ethical smart to make as much money as they can as quickly as they can, even if it’s dishonest dirty money endangering human life itself. And because our still largely conservative public schools continue ignoring teaching young folks how best to respond to such ‘bait’ and play such games of freedom, most everyone remains vulnerable to them. Will you throw your kind and helpful mother-in-law out and take her last $10, or act more kindly; how many lies will you tell to merely keep making more money? Such disrespectful ethical actions simply put people at a great risk of losing their own freedom, especially if they break just laws or keep things they haven't honestly earned.
Here’s another example. On the Internet today people sometimes play sexual games of freedom; sometimes someone will pose as teenage ‘bait’ to ‘hook’ those who have little respect for our laws against sex with minors. Such people pose a threat to all minors everywhere, minors who are some of the most vulnerable among us. Who needs more sexual predators, and so some games of freedom are aimed at finding and limiting their freedom to harm others. In short, today's games of freedom help locate intolerant, hateful, and dangerous people, as well as helpful, kind, and respectful people. Thus, teaching ourselves to enjoy practicing the second set of ethical values has a great advantage in today’s world. Francis Bacon said it himself: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! And as our obscene wealthy .1% is showing us today, such power keeps increasing their freedom to build a world making them even wealthier and more powerful! The sad part is even openly telling people such things are going on often doesn’t bother those with such power; thanks to ignorant voters, they often control those who make the laws.
Do we still live in a largely tribal world? In many ways it is. Academics like Dewey of course call them social groups or classes, but the word ‘tribes’ is useful too. After all, many people today still have superstitious and myth-based habits. Today Republicans, Democrats, Communists, Socialists, Protestants, Catholics, Hindus, non-heterosexuals, heterosexuals and many other groups can still be pictured as modern tribes. Thus, for many people life still remains filled with on-going games of freedom. Men and women too often test others. And with democracy’s growth finally politicians are no longer completely immune; even brutal dictators can be overthrown. Political leaders are no longer completely above such games of freedom, as many recent presidents have found out, including Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon. Vicious military actions and illegal campaign money are still useful bait in their games of freedom, not to mention sex and drugs.
Democracy and equal rights may have begun challenging all such political, economic, and educational games of freedom, but again, winning such games is far from inevitable. Like any other human habit-art, they too depend on education and training. As long as life exists, such games will probably be played. Unless people know how to win such games, their own freedom remains as vulnerable as many people were in the Middle Ages. These days student debt, for example, is robbing many young folks of their freedom to simply enjoy more of life; even doctors and lawyers must sometimes work for decades, sometimes 7 days a week, to pay back their loans and gain more freedom. In place of indentured servants in the 1700s we now have indentured students and young professionals, and the more debt they have, the more likely they are to treat people as merely objects, rather than as honorable and respected people. In short, a money-based economy continues offering economic games of freedom; how much crime today is money-related? How many drug dealers will sell to vulnerable Native Americans because they can’t be prosecuted on their reservations?
As recent events like the Iraq and Afghanistan wars are showing us, even educated politicians have no second thoughts about openly lying, and even breaking Constitutional laws against cruel and unusual punishment. For years conservative Republicans justified torture against possible enemies, as well as killing hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children. It was all described with neutral-sounding phrases like ‘collateral damage.’ Such phrases masked the fact that hundreds of thousands of people were killed needlessly. In the words of a famous liberal senator, conservative wealthy folks have ‘rigged the system’ so as to keep taking as much of the public’s money as they can, and thus become even more powerful to play their economic games of freedom on a worldwide scale! Clearly, such political and economic games of freedom are becoming even more dangerous to more people than ever before, simply because of the tremendously dangerous weapons we now have, as well as the vast amounts of public wealth now controlled by just a few hundred politicians who always need more campaign money.
To keep our society safe we need to know who's kind enough to share their political and human rights equally with law-abiding people, and who isn't. In fact, those who work against sharing their rights equally not only build a more intolerant democracy, but they endanger their own freedom as well when they unlawfully restrict such rights. After the American Civil War the most famous US liberal agnostic public speaker, Robert Ingersoll, went around the country and spoke eloquently and forcefully to huge crowds about such games of freedom. Mark Twain once called him the most intelligent speaker he’d ever heard. What did Ingersoll talk about? Among other things he told people about how to win their social games of freedom. He said those who deny others their equal rights don't deserve to keep those rights themselves! What goes around should come around; if not, then life becomes like the natural world Hobbes described centuries ago. In short, those who deny equal rights to others simply because they're Africans, Asians, Natives, gays, lesbians, honest and law abiding immigrants, and women simply don’t deserve to keep those freedoms for themselves.
As always, however, as life continues on into a new millennium, education about such games becomes more important than ever. The more people are aware of such games, and how to win them, the easier it becomes to keep learning what we want to learn. Are young folks being educated to feel they should meekly accept the economic and political status quo of inequality and great extremes of wealth and poverty, or are they being taught to peacefully and intelligently work to make life better for everyone, and not just the wealthy few? That’s the basic economic game of freedom liberals and conservatives continue playing. Conservatives often want children to know as little as possible about such games; the less they know, the easier it is to manipulate them. Liberals like Dewey too wanted children to know about such actions helping limit their freedoms. For example, not learning a useful skill limited their economic freedom. We liberals still want children to learn about such games in our schools, homes, and churches, so they learn to act kindly, honestly, and law-abidingly, and to put human wellbeing at the top of their ethical values. When they’re not so educated, then it’s easy for people to keep robbing, swindling, murdering, raping, and denying people their lawful human rights and freedoms.
Many thousands of years ago in Paleolithic times, wild animals, disease, and the lack of knowledge and useful tools greatly limited one’s freedom to make life better. However, those days are far from over. Life has been kept that largely by conservatives who want restricted, narrow, and useless forms of education, especially about economic, educational, and political freedoms.
In any case, however, peoples’ own actions and character habits -- their own internal survival kit habits -- are the key to winning any game of freedom! Even though today we have many more scientific tools for lessening nature’s dangers, our freedom to keep control of our lives often depends on how we use those tools to promote the public good! For example, where can we get the education we want and not ring up huge amounts of freedom-robbing debt in the process? We secular Deweyan liberals say each of us is ultimately responsible for growing such excellent ethical feelings and habits, like joyfully celebrating tolerance, democratic variety, acting honestly, and helping limit the freedom of those with hateful and excessively greedy habits, described with yet another linguistically lame limerick.
Michael had no time to work on his tan,
His Wall Street boss said grab all you can.
Wife and kids were forgotten,
As he mixed silk with cotton.
But today he wants merely to repair his fan.
10. GAMES OF FREEDOM: PLAYERS AND WINNING
No doubt life is full of testing events, and they’ve become so useful entire groups of people around the world are dedicated to practicing the art. If so, then it’s wise to assume any obstacle is a test. The more one’s makes that assumption, the easier it becomes to keep building excellent ethical habits learning to intelligently avoid such obstacles, like, for example, helping the disadvantaged and respecting just laws. Such kind and generous actions helps avoid many of life’s obstacles. In short, it’s useful to assume all if life’s events can be seen as a series of character test games, from kindergarten to the grave, so to speak. With that assumption it’s easier to keep practicing ethical excellence all through life, and thus keep as much control of our own lives as possible.
In fact, let's assume there is an entire tribe of character testers; we'll call them the Underground tribe, simply because they prefer people don’t know what they’re doing is just a game. They're people who're usually trained in childhood to test people, keep them honest, and hold them responsible for their actions, both helpful and harmful actions. They work to see what goes around comes around. No doubt, Dewey himself would say such actions are worth practicing, so as to make people responsible for their actions and thus keep social life safer and more peaceful. He too firmly believed it's excellent to hold people responsible for BOTH their freely chosen helpful AND illegal/dangerous/harmful actions! He wrote “Washing one’s hands of the guilt of others is a way of sharing guilt.” What’s more, with such testing Underground folks learn more about human psychology, like when to test others and what habits to test. After all, if a person keeps breaking life's 'small' laws, then chances are they'll be more likely to break more serious laws too, if they see the need. Many serial killers came to feel their work was helpful to society.
Let’s further assume such testers are in every major city around the world, from Beijing to Hollywood and back again. After all, for thousands of years people have made even more audacious assumptions; millions today continue assuming god and spirits exist even though it’s never been proved! In any case, however, by assuming people play ethical testing games, people can perhaps make better ethical choices for themselves. For example, most people are likely to disrespect the law on the way home from work, when they're most tired, and even more so at night after they’ve had a few drinks too many. At such times many people are more likely to break the law in some way, especially where sex, money, and/or drugs are involved. So, obviously, knowing just these few facts about human nature helps people play testing games without even realizing they’re playing such a game. In fact, unless I’m wrong such testing events often become the stuff of great movies; I'm thinking of such films like Pretty Woman. People are testing each other throughout the film, to see their ethical responses. Remember, any situation capable of alternative responses is an ethical situation. Julia Roberts, for example, gets tested in many different ways, but then ..; maybe it’s best to let you see the film itself and all its testing games. In fact, why not make the film part of your own ethical survival kit library? As mentioned earlier, many in Hollywood see themselves as helping teach people different ethical habits of excellence, almost always centering around those who break the law.
For Dewey all morality is social, and so ethical excellence is the art of interacting intelligently, respectfully, and politely with those around us. Most of the time simply not bothering people is the most respectful way to treat others. Because we humans too are basically social creatures we live around others, and so sometimes ethical games are necessary. After all, different families teach their children different ethical habits, and because many are not excellent some people learn dangerous and disrespectful habit-arts. Some even learn criminal habits, and so become a social problem rather than a social help. In short, civilized excellence is mostly about learning to live peacefully and helpfully, rather than dangerously and disrespectfully? Another great vintage movie celebrating the ethical art of holding people responsible for their actions is Harold Lloyd's marvelous 1930s film Why Worry? At the height of the Great Depression millions of people were very worried even about where their next meal was coming from.
It's still a great film about how the game of holding people responsible for their unlawful actions can be played. Anything goes, right? In the film he first rounds up a bunch of law-breakers, thugs, and gangsters, and then scares them into confessing their crimes, thus sending them jail-school to learn more civilized ethical habits. In fact promoting justice and strengthening peoples' ethical character habits, by simply holding them responsible for their unlawful and helpful actions, was probably important in Hollywood even before there was a Hollywood! Harold tricks lawbreakers into confessing their crimes by making them believe they'll be killed if they don't confess their unlawful actions! If you ever get the chance to see it you'll see what I mean; it's still a marvelously entertaining AND educational film even today, as is so much of Hollywood's great work. Even children of all ages can still see how such social games of freedom can be played, and then perhaps practice and build their own testing skills. Again, the more people who practice testing others and holding them responsible for their actions, the safer life becomes.
Thus, an important ethical rule can again be simply stated: what goes around can come around! What’s more, even young folks can start building such skills. For example, a young underground player might see another youngster break a graffiti law on someone else's property, and so they can then see to it their own property is disfigured in some way. By breaking even small and minor graffiti laws, and not responsibly fixing the damage, kids in fact lose some of their freedom to keep their own property safe and secure! Hopefully, such events will begin teach such people respecting the law and others’ property is a very important ethical habit to practice, unless of course someone’s life is in danger! Such ethical rules are more examples of how to keep winning our games of freedom.
Naturally, there are some other ethical ideas you can test in yourself and others. For example, one good antidote for even thinking about breaking a law -- even a minor jaywalking or parking law -- is simply smiling AND feeling about not breaking such laws! No doubt, there are some ethical situations that might justify breaking such laws, like being in personal danger, but hopefully they’re rare. Learning to control such happy and proud feelings so they can be felt anytime is another important skill for winning ethical games of freedom. Those who take the time to stop and enjoy such actions makes it easier to keep respecting all just laws, as well as challenging unjust laws too. I know such a habit-art keeps working for me, and most importantly, the more it’s practiced the more instinctive and powerful it becomes.
Sadly, however, like most everyone else, my public school education, as well as my home life and religious education, failed to encourage learning such important habits; they weren’t even mentioned. They didn’t take the time to educate about such laws, or what the results of breaking them might be! Thus, like many millions of people, I wasn't very good at winning such ethical games of freedom. In other words, I had almost no character excellence. For some strange weird reason I still don’t understand, many professional educators today still ignore such studies, and thus help keep our prisons full and social life more dangerous. They prefer instead to teach kids a bunch of trivial historical, literary, mathematical, and scientific facts, rather than teach more important ethical character habits, like intelligent experimentation, what the law is, and what can happen when you break it. It’s as if no one needs to know how to practice excellent ethical habits, when in fact such knowledge is some of the most important knowledge of all! Dewey, however, and many other progressively liberal educators felt strongly such ethical knowledge helped make life more rewarding and less stressful and wasteful, not to mention dangerous. In that way he agreed with Socrates who felt ethical knowledge was the most important knowledge of all. We Deweyan liberals continue asking how we can nurture a truly equal and peaceful democratic society when not everyone gets the same ethical character training? If my public schooling had included legal studies all through its 12 years, and helped me feel good about respecting just laws, it would’ve saved taxpayers much wasted time and money, and me years of wasted time and effort.
Playing To Win
So, obviously, an important ethical question becomes how can we intelligently play to win such ethical games, rather than keep losing them with greedy and selfish actions? No doubt, for some people such challenges have yet to be learned. Such people have been conditioned to learn many propulsive self-defeating habit-arts, like taking whatever they want whenever they want, no matter who owns what they want. You’ve heard of anger therapy, right? Well, liberal ethics might be called respect therapy. In most situations not practicing such a habit can be dangerous to your freedom, while warping one of our most valuable habits, namely ethical character excellence. For those who are ethically challenged in that way, reading these sections, and of course practicing their ideas, just might help begin building a whole new life for yourself. Certainly it has for me. As we saw earlier, sexual respect is a very important habit-art.
Again, respecting and obeying just laws is a big part of winning such ethical games, but so is helping those less well off with any extra money. Again such habit-arts may be difficult to grow from some people; many feel they should work only for their own security and largely ignore helping others. But again, if what goes around often comes around, then helping others is a good way to help ourselves too.
Another ethical value helping win such games of freedom is called ‘turnabout is fair play’! It’s basically learning to enjoy testing those who test us! It’s yet another way of saying ‘what goes around comes around.’ People being tested by others to break just laws can turn around and act just as obnoxiously to them! Why not say to someone who wants us to break the law to go and break it himself? Again, many Hollywood films show examples of turning the tables on such people. A fine example of that happens in Woody Allen’s great film Annie Hall. At one point a drug dealer asks Woody to smuggle some cocaine from Los Angeles to New York, so naturally Woody has some fun turning the tables on the guy! Next time you watch the film notice what he does after the dealer makes his offer. His ‘turnabout’ response is another fine example of what some call chutzpah -- of brazenly turning the tables on a disrespectful person, and also showing how to win such games of freedom. It's also a great example of ethical audaciousness. It’s yet another way to play and win such games of freedom.
Such examples help form a simplified liberal general ethical rule of excellence: All such games of freedom involve respect in one way or another, either disrespecting people or just laws. Those who test others are interested in knowing what people respect and disrespect? Simple politeness, for example, is another sign of such respect. For example, have you learned to wait respectfully to be spoken to by someone else, or do you disrespectfully interrupt and just start talking to strangers? Do you respectfully wait to be asked to sit down when you go into someone else's office or home, or do you just sit down right away? How ethically polite and respectful are you? If you're impolite, then that person has a right to be impolite to you. No doubt, even polite people may try to sell you their mother’s false teeth or ask you to run some illegal drugs, but polite respectfulness is still useful for winning games of freedom. Also, another polite business rule is when in doubt get it in writing.
Many games of freedom are played to find out how strong a person’s character habits are for respecting others and the law. Especially in the business world people want to know how loyal you are to your business; how much will you promote business profits over human wellbeing. Also, how easily will you lie and cheat to protect your paycheck, or even physically hurt someone else just because you were told to? Believe it or not, decades ago some psychologists conducted a very revealing experiment about people’s ethical values. They tested how much people were willing to hurt someone else when they didn’t answer a question properly. The results were amazing. Surprisingly they found a very high percentage of people kept acting to hurt someone else just because they didn’t answer properly! I don't know about you, but to me that is a very scary result, and it's yet more evidence we should be teaching ethical habits of respect for others in our homes, schools, and churches. With such character studies the possibility of decreasing many forms of violence and crime is more than a little likely. Without demanding students learn such character values as human wellbeing, is it really any wonder even millions of Jews were killed by Nazis who were merely following orders, or Native American women and children who were routinely killed by white soldiers? No doubt, if more schools focused on teaching more intelligent ethical habit-arts than merely following orders, people like Herr Hitler would've been quickly shipped off to a death camp himself, instead of all those innocent Jews! It’s also another example of how powerful mere philosophic thinking can be. In the early 1800s a conservative German philosopher named George Hegel said the German state is more important than anything else, and its people owe their lives and complete allegiance to it! Professor Hegel, it seems, never imagined how dangerous such ideas would be for permanently ending so many peoples’ freedom. It’s yet more real evidence; excellent character habits like honesty, respect, generosity, and helpfulness remain very useful for winning any game of freedom! Lucky indeed are those whose parents encourage them to feel honored to both respect just laws as well as help others help themselves; often what goes around comes around.
Kindness as Another Useful Winning Ethical Habit
Once again, wisely and kindly helping others who need help is another positive way of winning games of freedom. Both the 2 ethical habit-arts, wisely and kindly, are important. They both help people see how getting the most FROM life is often the result of giving the most TO life. If underground testers return WHATEVER ethical actions people choose, if both our hurtful AND helpful actions can come back to us, then wisely helping others increases our chances for not being just another ethical sap, so to speak! More ethically simple than that it’s tough to be. Just as a person’s mean, greedy, and violent actions help others treat them the same way, so too wise and kind actions helps increase the chances for winning our games of freedom. In fact, it’s far from a new ethical idea. In fact it’s ancient; the liberal Greek Atomist Epicurus often celebrated those same kinds of helpful actions. And in medieval times too generously helping others was an important religious habit-art called noblesse oblige; the Bible too said to whom much is given, much is expected! The nobility are obliged to help those with what they have. What’s changed since then, however, are the more scientific ways of helping people. Liberal wise and intelligent experimentation has replaced conservative habits of praying and religious rituals. As more scientific knowledge turned into real practical power and new helpful tools, it became easier to really help others help themselves!
Kindness has been a part of religious traditions too. Sometimes just a single person can help increase kind ethical actions. One example is from New Testament times. While Jesus was still a boy learning how to build oxen yokes, Israel had a great rabbi called Hillel the Elder. Almost single-handedly his joyful, kind-hearted ethical actions began softening the stricter religious feelings many conservative Jews had. They felt the strict letter of religious law had to be observed, whereas Hillel felt the law was made for people, not people for the law. Even with the Roman tax-hand deep in their pockets and many Pharisees demanding a strict obedience to Jewish law, Hillel helped put kinder and more humane feelings into Jewish life, so life could become more livable and enjoyable. In short, merely by example, many of Judaism’s warm feelings for daily life were 'born again' with Hillel’s help! After all, what was more important, the letter or the spirit of the law? Was the religious law made for Jewish wellbeing, or should Jews be made to strictly obey religious law? No doubt, even Jesus himself was somewhat influenced by Hillel.
No doubt, such liberal kind feelings and actions didn't spread quickly; as the gospels tell us a radical Zealot movement continued growing in Israel. They desperately wanted to violently drive the Romans out of Israel, and many became assassins -- the Scarii. And also, without a good system of schools for teaching young folks, Hillel's kind and joyful humane ethical values stay weak, but they did keep growing. Even Hillel’s younger contemporary, the Nazarene northerner Jesus, wasn't always so humane, especially towards tax collectors or even non-Jews. In fact as mentioned earlier, some scholars think Jesus was an early example of the Zealot movement which peaked in the 60s CE. It took time for Hillel's kind and more humanistic feelings to grow in Jewish daily life, but his own ethical actions were his teaching tools. Soon after Jesus died Paul of Tarsus seems to have accepted some kinder religious feelings too; he too wanted to help gentiles feel saved and redeemed after merely accepting Jesus as the Messiah; by faith alone can people be saved! In any case, however, the more we focus on wisely and kindly helping those we choose to help, the less we're tempted to act greedily, selfishly, arrogantly, and intolerantly.
As we've seen, even centuries before Hillel liberal Democritus too helped reconstruct old conservative Greek aristocratic feelings of arrogance into a more humane democratic ethical system. In fact, both conservative Plato and moderate Aristotle reacted against such democratic kindness. In a world still steeped in Greek intolerance, pride, and class divisions, and where buying and selling slaves were almost a daily reality, Democritus taught the liberal ethical values of cheerfulness and joy as well as kind democratic equality! For many conservative and moderate Greeks those were indeed radical ethical values which contributed to the Greek decline. Slavery was just another of such unkind ethical feelings. In much of the world today, however, such liberal democratic ethical values of kindness and equal rights have become the ethical norm; they’ve become a much more important part of modern civilization itself, slowly greatly in the US by the continuing conservative use of perpetual warfare. How can we keep civilizing people with more intelligent and helpful ethical habit-arts when people continue allowing more useless and destructive warfare to continue on? Such warfare helps create more enemies, not more friends.
Such simple ethical examples of kindness help us see yet again how simple and straightforward liberal ethics can be, and how easy it is to keep winning our games of freedom with such ethical habits. Sadly, that’s not always been the case. Down through the centuries so many philosophers, Dewey included, taught themselves to talk and write with huge elaborate sentences and large words almost no one understood. With such writing skills they in effect defeated their goal of educating people with better habits. No doubt, having a large vocabulary is useful at times; some people like to hear big words and feel they're smart. But in our more democratic age, where most all people have very limited vocabularies, many profound philosophic insights end up meaning nothing. Even today, only a very small number of people can easily understand Dewey’s best work, Experience and Nature. Decades ago I felt popularizing such ideas with simple words and ideas would be much more helpful to building a safer and more enjoyable democratic world; the saying ‘what goes from us often comes around to us’ is one such idea, as are the ethical ideas of kindness and generosity. Merely those ethical ideas can help keep anchoring one’s actions to keep winning ethical games of freedom, unless, of course, you like to be abused and treated like you’re less than human.
Again, the kinder, more generous, and wiser our actions are, the easier it is to keep winning such games. No doubt, the results of such actions won't always be what we hope for. Sometimes the ‘comes around part’ might take years; no doubt some ethical testers arrange such events to promote the old Indian feeling of Karma at work in the world. At little later we’ll take a closer look at that ethical idea. And sometimes what we may feel is a wise donation to help others may turn out wrong. But at least with such kind and generous actions we become kinder and more generous. That’s perhaps the best ethical result of all. So, maybe helping first those in our family is a good place to start building such a habit-art. If you get the chance, there’s a fine example of it in Mia Farrow's book What Falls Away. Especially touching were her experiments to help her autistic adopted son become more connected to his world; she kept experimenting until she finally broke through to him.
Just and Unjust laws
All this adds up to saying once again, two ethical habit-arts seem most excellent for winning such games of freedom: 1.) obeying just laws AND, 2.) wisely helping others to keep increasing their own intelligent growth. Those 2 important ethical rules are certainly not an absolute guarantee for winning every game of freedom; in an always changing world what actions would? But they certainly increase the chances for it in most situations; after all, what else is life in an always moving nature but a game of probabilities? What more should anyone expect while living in such a precariously stable natural world? As we’ve already seen many times before, both moderate Aristotle, and conservative Plato wanted to discover absolutely certain knowledge in many different fields while liberal Sophists were much more comfortable in an always changing world. So, at the risk of philosophic over-kill, so to speak, a few more words about each idea might be useful.
To say the least, breaking just laws can limit our freedom, as does keeping anything we haven't honestly earned. For example, getting and keeping stolen property is just as illegal and harmful as stealing it! However, for thousands of years now liberals have built a very different definition of ‘just law’ than Plato and Aristotle built. In general Greek liberals worked to keep making civilization more just and satisfying for everyone, rather than just a small privileged class as Plato and Aristotle did! Even in Socrates’s day, liberals saw a great injustice in slavery, and not having the same rights as anyone else? Even Plato talked about equal rights for women; aristocratic Aristotle, however, felt even that idea was unjust, as Democritus might have too.
Another example of just-unjust differences centered around religious habits. Such habits were so strong in the prehistoric native world, in ancient Greece there was in fact no separation of church and state, as many modern nations have evolved today. As a result, for thousands of years now conservatives have said religious laws and rituals are completely just and honorable, and should be taught to everyone, whether they wanted to learn them or not! If nothing else, such feelings are a fine example of important differences in the idea of respect. For both Plato and Aristotle such laws were justified as socially useful for controlling the uneducated masses; they simply weren’t capable of learning the kinds of study habits Plato felt were best. So, in the quest for social control over others, such conservatives justified teaching their religious ideas more than they respected human freedom and wellbeing.
For ancient liberals like Democritus and Protagoras, however, such laws were both unjust and unnecessary; they were based on unjustified assumptions and also distracted people from learning more important civilized democratic habits like equal rights and equal freedoms. Only within the past 200 years have many of those religious ideas become much less powerful as science began creating better tools for actually making life better. As a result, a whole new definition of just laws has been needed to teach people more liberal democratic character habits, so they can more easily win their ethical games of freedom. For example, should I keep working to merely make more money, or use as much as I can to help those less well off? Should I keep denying those with different sexual habits their equal rights and freedoms; are such laws just and fair? Such examples of liberal ethical democratic excellence have become much more important for winning today’s games of freedom. Excessive greed might be felt as a worthy ethical goal, but often it actually decreases one’s freedom. How many wealthy folks today live reclusive lives, fearing someone is always out to kill or cheat them?
Two other results help make old intolerant laws unjust and unfair. Again, as Dewey pointed out, unjust laws help warp and deform one’s democratic character, thus making it still more difficult to keep winning such ethical games. The more we deny others their just equal rights and freedoms, the more unjust our actions become. Obviously, there's no law saying everyone must like everyone, but still, a just democratic political system says every peaceful person should at least be respected and tolerated! Thus for us Deweyan liberals, the more we strengthen our tolerant feelings and actions, the better our chances for keeping our freedom to grow as we want.
For centuries unjust conservative laws endorsing only one religious model helped produce another socially dangerous result, namely, wanting more and more social control over others! Currently the means of social control has become money; a few US mega-banks want laws making it easier to control more and more of peoples’ economic freedom, and with it a number of other freedoms as well. After all, how free can anyone be who must keep working to pay off tens of thousands of dollars in debt? How free can anyone be to learn more about what their government is doing when getting out of debt is the major goal in life? As much of Greek and Roman history teaches us, people have wanted to be gods for thousands of years, and sometimes even if they didn’t want it, others turned them into gods. Today such desires have evolved into becoming economic kinds of gods, so more laws can be passed to make their lives easier. Such unjust laws help feed a quest for power over others, rather than treating everyone as equal and helping those in need become more intelligent and powerful on their own. Such unjust laws and quests for power in fact help weaken the very democratic fabric of society, often making politicians slaves to the wealthy, rather than making life better for everyone. And as recent history teaches us, such unjust laws will continue growing unless people elect more democratic-minded people to places of political power. Someone may object, and say such facts have nothing to do with ethics, but again, for us Deweyan liberals all choices having genuine alternatives are ethical choices. For us choosing to, say, text and drive at the same time is as much an ethical choice as choosing which people to represent us at local, state, and national political levels.
Often in daily life the unintelligent ethical rule is ‘Monkey see, monkey do!’ But such a rule keeps us confined to our own welfare, rather than building loving ethical habits going beyond the self and into helping others. No doubt, those with weak character habits will easily break the law and cheat someone simply because they’ve seen others doing it; how many riotous looters or unfeeling soldiers act unintelligently just because others did it, or because they were ordered to? Unless someone's life is endangered, or the law unfairly gives an advantage to only some, or you want to help those in prison, why break any law and endanger your freedom?
As we’ve seen, in the ancient and medieval worlds where democracy was all but non-existent, unjust laws were the rule, rather than the exception, laws for slavery being the most obvious example. In such a democratic-free world civilized ethical excellence was often pictured as everyone accepting the social status quo, however brutal and unjust it might be. Why should anyone merely born into a family high up on the social ladder enjoy more privileges than anyone else, and yet that was the status quo for thousands of years. It was a kind of conservative ethical mantra, so to speak, often justified by saying god has chosen some people to have more power than others. As a result, most everyone was taught to be loyal only to one’s city and religious ideas. Those who obeyed such ethical rules would even be rewarded after death and for all eternity. Feelings of helplessness in a dangerous world, and wanting something better, helped create such undemocratic ethical feelings and habits. As a result, actual progress towards building a safer, more scientific, and more democratic world slowed greatly. People were taught to meekly accept the limited and unjust kinds of freedom they had and life continued on for centuries.
Today, however, democratic forms of government, scientific technology, useful tools reducing nature’s dangers, and a variety of liberal ethical habits are challenging many undemocratic conservatives to feel theirs is not the only ethical or philosophic model of life. Rather than conformity to only one set of undemocratic and intolerant conservative tribal ethical ideas and habits, we liberals practice tolerance for different peaceful habits! Such a liberal ethical habit has become an important part of winning today’s games of freedom. The more intolerant one chooses to act towards different ethical habits, the greater the chances of losing one’s freedom. Almost daily our media tells us the harmful results of such intolerance, with examples of how unjust undemocratic laws still exist in our world. In any case, however, it’s once again clear how important our public schools, churches, synagogues, and mosques are for teaching more liberal democratic ethical habits of equality and excellence. In democratic countries just laws focus on making human wellbeing the highest ethical value, and so the more people demand those educational institutions teach such habits, the more democratic they and our world become, and the easier it becomes for more people to keep winning their ethical games of freedom.
Some Dangers with Freedom Games
Like nature itself, ethical games of freedom can become dangerous. In the 1960s, for example, even some kind and well-meaning young folks lost their lives merely working in the south to help Africans get their equal voting rights. What makes some ethical situations dangerous? Well, many people still don’t believe in returning kind actions for kind actions. White racists, both southerners and northerners, were often violently brutal to peaceful and kind African protestors and civil rights workers. Such people make some games of freedom hateful, vicious, and dangerous, rather than enjoyable and fulfilling. I don't mean to frighten anyone away from practicing such liberal ethical habits, but rather to make people more aware of such dangers. As a result, sometimes it might be wisest to work through an organization by donating money or time or both when wanting to help those oppressed by others. Often such organizations know how to best help others who need help. Sadly, even today unkind, unintelligent, and often violent people still live over vast areas of our earth -- many of them still practice dangerous ethical habits, even in the US today! It’s yet another reason to say intelligent testers are needed to keep building a more civilized world.
Many such people can be described with the words psychopaths and sociopaths. Such types sometimes kill others just because they're prostitutes, drug users, or even liberal doctors. They hold their own ethical ideas more important than human wellbeing. Such people threaten everyone’s safety and freedom; hence the social need to keep testing other people. Often such people feel they're on some kind of moral crusade to make the world safe and pure; nothing personal, just doing what my dog ordered me to do; the British have a neat little phrase for such people -- completely crackers! Sometimes they’re very secretive too, making it much more difficult to find them, but people are learning to listen better for clues of such mental delusions. In any case, however, it’s better to report such people to police forces than to simply ignore them.
Such real dangers are yet more signs for better educational experienced in our schools, homes, and religious institutions. Because excellent character education is weak in many parts of the world, many people believe their habits reflect conservative ideas of Absolute Truth, and so it’s easy to build hateful and dangerous habits; I’m right and everyone else must be wrong. In the US, for example, during the 1800s and 1900s, hateful and unjust Jim Crow racial laws kept limiting African freedoms! Almost a hundred years AFTER the American Un-Civil War, law-abiding Africans were still denied equal voting, housing, dining, public accommodations, employment, and educational rights! Many conservative whites wanted that social status quo kept in place; they often argued their property values were more important than a person's civil rights. In 1909 the newly formed NAACP began challenging such unjust laws in court, and helped reconstruct them. Wisely winning such games of freedom often meant using the legal structure too. Even after many Africans had honorably risked their lives to defeat Nazism in World War 2, my own neighborhood in Chicago still had unfair public housing laws denying Africans such freedoms. Many white folks were tested to see how violent they would act. No doubt, public housing was slowly integrated by wisely challenging such laws in court, but it took some time. It certainly angered some undereducated and undemocratic racists, but helping re-educate others is not always easy; it's why police, politicians, and judges often test others for their ethical character habits too. Sometimes just a few judges can keep reconstructing unjust laws. It seems unbelievable now, but even in the 1950s, almost 200 years after our country was founded on the ideal of equal rights, President Eisenhower still needed to send federal troops to help Africans keep winning their educational games of freedom.
Edgy Pressurized Games of Freedom
So now do you feel ready to get out there and start testing peoples’ ethical habits? Yes? Good, but first why not at least read the rest of this section. If we look a little more deeply at such games we can see more of their meanings; after all, doesn't knowing about possibilities before playing the game increase one’s chances of winning the game? Sometimes such games can get even trickier, just to see how strong a person’s ethical character really is!
For example, you sometimes can see evidence for such tricky ethical games in our daily newspapers. Occasionally you can see a story about supposedly intelligent and respected elderly community leaders who've let themselves believe they won't get caught breaking the law this time. Even in the athletic world such ethical games of freedom can be tricky; recently using illegal steroids to help athletes perform better has become an ethical game of freedom. Use such drugs and you lose your freedom to play the game. And recently a 71 year old crooked financier was sentenced to only 150 years in prison for stealing billions of other peoples’ money. They thought investing in his company was a wise ethical choice.
No doubt, one of the key ways for testing people is to put some pressure on them to lie or cheat, and for that art 'edgy' character testers are needed. Edgy? Yes, edgy; they’re more subtle kinds of ethical tests, often based on confidence and truth. Such edgy tests may even be played by teams of testers. For example, as the money involved increases, so does the pressure and stress to act disrespectfully about some law or person. What will you do for $100,000, or $1,000,000? To most people that's a lot of money. Such testers are good at smoothly pressuring people on a daily basis to break the law, then take the money and run. Even poorly paid police officers have been subtly convinced to kill others just for some money. Just exactly how greedy are you? Exactly how much can you stay relaxed and focused on wisely making the best ethical choices? Exactly how quickly can you avoid listening to such subtle voices, no matter how many people are making them?
With such subtle games of freedom humor remains another useful tool for winning such ethical games. No doubt, for edgy underground testers continuing intimidation of one person by a team of testers can apply a lot of pressure on someone; such pressure makes such games more interesting, more tense, more dramatic, and thus more fun if you know how to happily respond to such pressure. However, for many people that's a big 'if'. Many people are simply afraid of tough-looking people, so they can be easily frightened into doing what they ordinarily wouldn’t. Other people may think money will finally give them the freedom they want, only to lose their game of freedom and wind up in jail-school. The famous actress Marilyn Monroe's films show her acting greedily again and again, instead of using money wisely and kindly to help others. If so, then it certainly helps explain her gradual loss of freedom, abusing alcohol, drugs, and disrespectful sex to get what she wanted -- a husband to love her.
Hollywood history is full of such stories, and they become much easier to see if you think in terms of teams of testers. For example, the next time you watch Humphrey Bogart's classic film The Maltese Falcon, why not see it too as a story about how a team of testers eventually trap 2 murderers, one young man and one woman. Those who we feel are our friends can easily turn against us if we disrespect human wellbeing or the law. In short, what’s also important about ethical excellence is the DEPTH AND STRENGTH of those habits; how easy is it for us to resist such pressure to act disrespectfully? How easily can you laugh at those who even suggest acting disrespectfully? How many gang rapes are the results of such pressurized testing? After all, what’s ethically more intelligent, keeping ‘dirty’ money just to please a 'friend,' or alerting authorities about what’s happening? With friends like that, who needs enemies? It comes down to how much you really cherish your freedom? Is it more important than someone who wants you to break the law? Liberal ethical excellence says it should be much more important than just about anything else! To me anyone who even seriously pressures someone into breaking the law is yet someone else I don’t need in my life; true friends encourage ethical excellence, rather than discourage it!
All such examples show why and how people are sometimes tested. It’s the best way to learn who needs more ethical training and education, and who can be more trusted. So, again, a good place to start building such ethical habits may be learning how weak our own habits are, and then start strengthening them? How much do we already disrespect the law and other people? Many people are not very confident about themselves, and are frightened easily with the slightest pressure; they haven't taught themselves the important ethical value of courage yet. Such basic ethical knowledge about our self is important if we're to keep building a more excellent set of ethical values. To be sure, such habit-arts don't become powerful merely by talking about them, even with a professional psychologist, although it can be a good first step. They might show you how to learn about your own ethical weaknesses. After that, then little daily actions can help turn such weaknesses into a more forceful ethical will-power.
No doubt, for some people building more excellent ethical habit-arts can sometimes be a difficult process; it’s often why people may feel they are their own worst enemy. Often our energetic habits -- our ethical will power -- propel us to act in less than excellent ways; harmful ethical impulses may be stronger than ethical actions. What's more, many of life’s social pressures work against such excellence. Advertisements, for example, regularly tell us the only road to true happiness is acquiring as much glitzy junk as possible. In our capitalist economy, based largely on cars, home construction, and credit ratings, advertising has become a way to pressure people by telling them again and again to buy-buy-buy, own-own-own, act now-now-now! Such subtle forms of pressure have become a common part of everyday life. As a result many people start believing they somehow need what’s being sold, rather than practice the more intelligent and excellent art of helping those who need help. Such ethical philanthropic values are a good antidote to all such useless forms of pressure.
Obviously generosity and philanthropy are far from dead ethical habits; millions have taught themselves to practice such habits, but who knows how much more wide-spread such habits could be if young folks began learning about them early in life. In fact, many poor people continue going to bed hungry and sick because they can’t even afford food and medicines. Just imagine how many needy Third World people could get life-saving medicines, or learn more about birth control methods with the money from just one upscale new car! Testing people want to know what will you do WITH $50,000, buy a new car or help those in need? Are you a Robin Hood or a selfish status seeker?
Dewey's model of ethical excellence, as well as Hollywood's, can be used to help others with ALL of that $50,000! For him what best endures is the ethical good done for others! So, the main ethical question is how much will you keep strengthening your ethical habits to easier keep winning such ethical games of freedom? What kinds of useful social results can your generosity produce?
In the very funny film Bedtime Story, starring Marlon Brando, Shirley Jones, and David Niven, there’re a few very touching scenes where David shows selfish, undereducated Marlon how to more intelligently help others with his talents. For example, David shows him how he’s dedicated his own work to many helpful and constructive causes, like helping find out why Stradivarius violins play such excellent high notes; they’re so much fuller and richer than almost all other violins; it’s still a scientific mystery. That was one of his causes -- one way of trying to make life better for everyone. He also wanted to help Marlon to start acting more excellently, and the key was to show him some excellent causes he could start supporting, and thus help those who’re trying to build a more educated and civilized world. Even though today we still don’t know what makes the ‘Strads’ sound so wonderful, at least he tried; one day someone may yet solve the mystery. My guess is it's something in the varnish making those high notes sound so strong and clear; the way it was put onto the wood is still unknown.
Also, subtle kind of ethical test is simply asking someone what they want, and then giving it to them. Why is it unwise to accept such gifts? Simply because they haven’t been honestly earned! The ethical rule is you only deserve what you honestly pay for. I’ve become much more wary of anyone who asks if I want something; to me such people are just fishing and testing my ethical character. For too many people today such 'bait' is often swallowed hook, line, and sinker! Many people don’t realize fancy cars, money, fame, and sex, without honestly earning them, actually endangers their ethical freedom. Many people still act like children and care only about themselves, rather than those less well-off. It’s yet another reason to be especially careful about being given something for free; life is full of such ethical tests, as lottery winners soon learn. To many people such glitzy stuff is like a fake worm to a hungry fish -- a one way ticket to frying pan hell! In fact, the greedier people are and the more they selfishly keep everything for themselves, the closer they get to swan-diving into death’s frying pan. It’s often fun for the cook, but not very much fun for the fish. So, instead of things, why not want world peace, an end to hunger and disease, equal rights for all law-abiding people, and making that obnoxious in-law live in the doghouse!
Elvis Presley’s life is yet another example of losing such ethical games of freedom. The so-called King of Rock n’ Roll ended up killing himself with food at 42; was his over-stuffed stomach caused by first over-stuffing his pockets with millions and under-helping others with his talent? To me it certainly was. If so, then it’s yet another example of how dangerous unkind and selfish actions can be. The great comedian Bob Hope, whose freedom lasted 100 years, may have said it best: the person without generosity has the worst kind of heart disease. How can we strengthen such a 'heart'? The excellent ethical habit-art of satisfying our needs, rather than our wants, helps us keep winning our games of freedom.
Again, such simple forms of ethical excellence are certainly not new. One Bible writer asked the same kind of question: What does it profit a person to gain the world and lose their soul -- or to build a big bank account and lose control of their own life? To those students of Hollywood and its celebration of liberal ethical excellence, the money rule was stated simply and concisely: keep only 10% of what’s honestly earned, live simply like liberal Democritus and Epicurus suggested, and use the rest to help others help themselves! In fact that idea was stated most emphatically by the great and generous actress Ethel Merman herself. In the exquisitely funny film about how ethical games can be played with greedy folks, called It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, at one point she yells at money-crazed Milton Berle: 10% and not a penny more! It’s perhaps the classic comedic example of how such games of greed can be played, even with Hollywood stars. And if it’s true in Hollywood, where easy money is the rule, then isn’t it best to again assume the idea applies in every profession and industry!? I think anyone at all interested in the art of both playing and winning such games of greed should definitely add it to their video library; many a Hollywood star learned that lesson before they became a star. At one point in the film a group of greedy people faced the result of dying while dangling from a faulty fire-escape hundreds of feet in the air, and another one trying to fly an airplane without knowing how? Scaring and frustrating people who are merely out to make as much money as possible is often a good educational experience. Just thinking about such scenes makes me smile. What's more, such films can help even young children start learning about testing, greed, and games of freedom, when of course they stop laughing long enough to realize what such testing aims at. But don’t just take my word for it. Why not test such ideas yourself, in your own workplace; why believe little ol' me? Even President Kennedy’s father Joe Kennedy learned the lesson in Hollywood in the 1930s. He made millions in the stock market before it crashed in 1929, and then went to Hollywood hoping to make even more by producing movies. He ended up losing a lot of money in the process.
People often call such ethical rules 'street smarts', and in some ways maybe they are. Either that or ‘movie smarts.’ It’s something one learns about only from experience, and from books like this one. Even inner city ‘undergrounders’ know about such ethical ideas like respect for laws and peoples. In any case, however, it’s possible for anyone to test such assumptions for them self, and see the results. What else is philosophy good for if not helping people see life from outside their usual ethical habits? Such ethical writing also gives me a chance to help educate people not even born yet. Such ethical ideas are new to each generation who haven’t learned them yet. Excellent habits of love and charity have been important religious ideas for centuries, even though they were too often neglected in practice. The Church often required priests and nuns to live simply and help the sick and poor, while also killing those who threatened their power. We Deweyan liberals try to both practice and preach such ideas.
Maybe Dewey thought such games of freedom weren’t worth mentioning, of didn’t even know they existed, but no doubt even his character too was tested. One day, for example, while marching in a parade for women's voting rights someone reminded him he was carrying a sign which red: If men can be free why can't I? Was that the best sign to be carrying? And he also lost 2 young intelligent sons from which he never seemed to recover. Even as intelligent as Dewey was he seemed unaware of such ethical games. In fact, I suspect his own free-spirited first wife Alice spent much of her life testing him in many ways he probably never suspected. Sometimes she would even play the scolding Zanthippe-role to his mute Socrates. Everyone’s somebody fool, aren’t they? Such testing at least keeps life interesting and adventuresome.
A Personal Recollection
Luckily such films were a natural part of my early education; my older sister encouraged me to see them. Then, as I got out into life I began seeing how my own freedom was best controlled by obeying just laws and keeping only the money I honestly earned and needed. After all, if you lie to get a job, then all the money earned is 'bad' money, and you don’t deserve it. Helping win such ethical games increased the chances to keep building my 2 most precious possessions, my health and freedom; they’ve continued growing and deepening. I’ve also taught myself how to have fun without much money. Creative hobbies like writing are a great way to make life much more rewarding and meaningful. Such ethical advice may sound like rather trivial knowledge, but if we don’t stay active and working to help others, life soon degenerates into sickness and disease.
Here's one example of the subtle way such testing may happen. Money was the lure. At the time I was given a small inheritance, but I then felt it was another great opportunity to help those with AIDS; many poor folks with AIDS couldn’t even afford to pay for expensive medicines. At the time I already felt it just wasn't ethically excellent to keep the inheritance, so I donated all of it. If anyone needs more help it's AIDS patients; almost daily they keep fighting for their lives. And if what I’ve said so far about ethical excellence, then those who collected the ‘inheritance’ suddenly got embarrassed themselves! They in fact became indebted to helping me keep expanding my own freedoms, rather than lessening them.
End of story? Here’s the subtle part of it, the verification of what I had done. At the time I was working as a movie extra in Hollywood; a relative of mine was a superstar. Anyway, it was one of the best jobs I ever had; it was fun, educational, and I got to see some very talented actors have fun while working. It was a marvelous experience. So, few weeks after donating the money I learned what people mean when they say Hollywood art imitates life. It happened one night as I worked on a TV show. I played a waiter, and I got to dump a big bowl of fruit juice on 2 elegantly dressed young folks at a formal dance! Hollywood art likes to reflect real events, and that night it was, as they say, art imitating life! My donating the ‘inheritance’ reflected how I had embarrassed 2 other folks testing my character! Needless to say, I smile whenever I remember such events; winning such games of freedom feels really good.
And that certainly wasn’t the end of such games either. Since then more unearned money was sent my way, but each time I've returned it or donated it to charity. What’s more, after each time I let myself feel my own ethical excellence grow a little stronger; my ethical will to keep winning such games! No doubt, even in childhood such feelings began growing. Errol Flynn's The Adventures of Robin Hood made deep impressions on me whenever I first saw it. It’s one of those films where new things are learned each time it’s seen. As far as I know, I’ve been frustrating those two testers even since. Good! Continuing to frustrate 'edgy' rascals with helpful kindness, and winning their games of freedom might taught me to be a little more careful with my ethical choices.
As we’ll see more clearly in the following 2 sections, habits of joy and happiness have also become 2 very useful ethical tools for winning such games of freedom. They’ve been helpful for ‘keeping my cool’ so to speak in stressful situations. Besides been fun to practice, they’ve also helped make life much more satisfying and enjoyable. Practicing them produces their own rewards here and now. The more I experimented with acting joyfully and happily, even in stressful situations, the more deeply I felt how ethical valuable such habits were. Who knows? They might just work the same for you too! Enjoying life makes life more enjoyable! How about that for a deep philosophic insight?
So, the ethical question becomes, why not begin experimenting on your own? What’s the laughing rhythm you’d like to learn? If, for example, you hate to see same-sex couples getting married, or even sharing affection, then smiling and even laughing a little can begin relaxing such tensed muscles and make it easier to act more tolerantly! Why not teach yourself to live and let live, eh? No doubt, depending on how strong such intolerant feelings are, such liberal ethical habits won't grow overnight; sometimes it might feel like they’re not growing at all! But Behavioral psychology teaches us the more we practice, the easier it gets. Learning to habits remolds destructive and intolerant feelings and actions, making it easier to live in a democratic world. Once that first plateau of feelings begins growing, then continuing to strengthen and expand them becomes easier.
So, why be afraid to experimentally test your own ethical habits? Never doubt this; sometimes it takes some real and genuine courage to keep improving our ethical weaknesses, and some creative imagination as well; it just doesn’t always happen by itself. Joy and happiness are merely 2 more ethical challenges; they help keep our freedom growing. After all, if tribal games of freedom exist, and they certainly seem to, then why not practice how you can win them? And to those who're wondering if such an underground tribe of testers really exists, I’ll say this: many people call them the police! How many police officers and FBI officers work undercover, and look just like ordinary folks? If so, then why not just assume everyone's an underground tester? You never know, right? Again, such assumptions make practicing such ethical habits that much easier.
Again, I'll finish this section on ethical games of freedom with another great and insightful limerick. Unfortunately I haven’t got one, so I offer this lollygagingly lame limerick; hope springs eternal, right?
A certain young man looked like a hunk,
So into fake jewelry his money was sunk.
With it he fished,
For those who wished,
To give up their freedom for more glitzy junk!